The Avenger's Handbook
Pål D. Ekran
October 11, 1999
``Oh people, know that you have
committed great sins. If you ask me what proof I have for these
words, I say it is because I am the punishment of God. If you had
not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment
like me upon you.''
-- Genghis Kahn, Bukhara 1220
The Avenger's Handbook
Copyright ©1993-99 Pål D. Ekran
Published by Ekran
Design 1999
Ekran Design - http://www.ekran.no/
ISBN
82-995215-0-5
Distribution terms
You may copy and distribute verbatim
copies of this text as you receive it, in any medium, provided that
you conspicuously and appropriately publish it completely and
without any modifications either in content or format, including the
introduction and this copyright notice. Thus follows that you bring
forward these same, limited rights as you are hereby granted, to any
further recipients of this document.
You may charge a nominal fee for the physical act of transferring
a copy of this document, however this fee must not extend beyond the
cost of the physical medium and transportation of it. You may not
charge anything for wired or aired transmissions of this text.
Disclaimer
The author assumes no responsibility for
the use or misuse of the ideas described. The author specifically
disclaims any personal liability, loss or risk incurred as a
consequence of the use, either directly or indirectly, of any
information presented herein. As this book is made freely available
it comes with absolutely no warranty, in particular
regarding the authenticity or accuracy of any action described
herein.
Some of the schemes described in this book are illegal to
perform, and most of them will make your target suffer in one way or
another. You should consider this text as a source of amusement, not
as a manual of how to create havoc and get yourself into trouble.
This entire book was written using the vim editor. In
the beginning the hardware consisted of an Amiga 600, and at the
end, a IBM Thinkpad 600 running Redhat Linux.
The book's final layout and typesetting was done with
LATEX2e.
``The mark is anyone who has
done something unpleasant, foul, unforgivable, or fatal to you,
your family, your property or your friends. Never think of a mark
as a victim of dirty tricks. Think of the mark as a very deserving
target of revenge.''
-- George Hayduke, Make'em Pay!
It is difficult to sit down after working on a project for 6
years, and write an introduction to its final state. If there is
still any doubt, this is the final release of the Avenger's
Handbook. You may stop sending me all ideas on how to get even
with someone, they will not be included in any future release.
It all started in the late young days of the Internet, around
september 1993 and just a few ``hours'' before that horrible moment
when someone came up with the tragic idea that everyone should have
access to the net. It was fall and I had just attended my first
class at the University of Tromsø, in Norway. It was also just weeks
after I had been introduced to alt.flame,
talk.bizzarre and alt.shenanigans. In an instant
(actually it took three new-group messages) the newsgroup
alt.revenge had been created and started to bring messages
to the feed. Thanks to James Stark, the creator of
alt.revenge.
After being one of the active participants in the group for a
while, I took it upon myself the task of collecting all of the best
ideas into a text file. This text file became the Avenger's
Handbook, and it has been available on the net since 1994. With
the web came the Avenger's FrontPage, which has acted as a
front end for the Avenger's Handbook and various other
texts following the same topic.
In 1997 the Avenger's FrontPage was one of the most
successful revenge pages on the net, and during this time I started
to plan a complete rewrite of the Avenger's Handbook.
Throughout a week with seven sleepless nights (and sleep full days)
I managed to crank down about 90KB of raw text, using material from
the old Avenger's Handbook. I spent most of the time
selecting from the old text and removing the ideas that weren't
suitable. Much rewriting was required to make the new text look more
like a real book, even if I sometimes wrote a few words, it never
lead to any real progress.
Then in 1999 I reopened my file and started to work on the text
again. Through May, June and July I sent the text to some voluntary
proofreaders who did great improvements on it. Afterwards I
finalized the layout and released it.
The frequent reader of the Avenger's FrontPage will
find that most of the material in this book are taken from the
Avenger's Handbook, from the Alt.revenge FAQ and
from my own experience in alt.revenge. I have tried to make
this document different from the old Avenger's Handbook, and
I have tried to keep it short and interesting enough to make a good
online book suitable for anyone to read. I'll let you be the judge
of whether I succeeded or not.
``Our sense of revenge is as
exact as our mathematical faculty, and until both terms of the
equations are satisfied we can not get over the sense of something
left undone.''
-- Inazo Nitobe, Bushido
The typical lifecycle of a revenge scheme often starts with
someone, a person or a member of an organization, doing something
wrong to you, or someone close to you. At that moment you, the
victim, would most likely be in a state of anger, hate or sadness.
At least you should be in a state where you wish to get even at the
one, or the ones, who wronged you. The worst thing that could happen
at this moment is that you sharpen your swords of vengeance and go
on right at it.
Revenge done in haste is such a waste, and the Sicilians did
really know what they were talking about when they were saying,
``Revenge is a dish best served cold.'' It is time to sit back, heal
your wounds and start plotting your payback. This could take months,
and even years, depending on how severe the offense was and how
severe the payback should be.
It wouldn't surprise me if 50% of the avengers who get caught are
people who start their mission of vengeance at a time that is too
close to the crime. I would also guess that 40% of the ones who get
caught, did not act out of a plan. Or they planned it badly without
thought or skill. There rest 10% are the ones who simply get
unlucky, where the unknown plays a factor that is not calculable.
The life-span of a general revenge scheme should therefore start
with the offense, continue with a great deal of patience, evolve
through thorough planning and reconnaissance, reconsidered, and if
necessarily some more patience, until you one day deploy your plan.
After that you have hopefully gotten your vengeance, then everything
related to this should be buried and forgotten. You might also
decide to forget it, that it's not worth the effort or risk.
One different way of handling this is to make a list of all your
marks. This list could be something as direct as a little database
with names, addresses, their crime and any other relevant and
irrelevant pieces of information. Every now and then you get your
list, fill in some gaps and delete obsolete data. When the right
time comes you seem to strike out of nowhere, and before the mark
knows what hit him, you are gone again. An advantage of this
approach is that you can play several marks against each other, and
you could sit on your list for years, making your marks less
suspicious and unaware.
There might also be times when you really want your mark to know
who you are. This would be in situations where you're participating
in a direct revenge, or prank-war. This is a situation where nobody
wins and should be avoided. Still, if you entangle yourself into
this kind of situation, make sure that your mark can't document any
threats or actions done by you, as these cases tend to end up in a
courthouse. Electronic evidence and plans should be carefully
encrypted, or it might get used against you. Also be aware of the
fact that these types of wars have the tendency of escalating to a
point where things really get out of hand. The best way is the safe
way, without much chance of retaliation and detection. Patience,
persistence, planning and then finally the realization.
After the patience comes planning, and with planning comes
surveillance. Every fact and every detail about your mark should be
gathered and organized. The more you know about your mark, the
better. This involves information about his home and work address,
telephone number, email address, habits, bank accounts, his social
security number, wife, lovers, children, his fear, what he likes,
dislikes, car license plate, daily and weekly routines, hobbies,
religion, etc.
When all the pieces are gathered, you'll have a concept of who
your mark is, and you may determine which way to get back at him
would be the most efficient. This is where your plan forms and it
should include all the ``what, when and how's'' that you can come up
with. The plan should also have contingency plans that describe how
to act if you're exposed, and how to act if your mark or the
authorities confronts you later with your deeds.
Still, no-matter how well you have planned and executed your
revenge scheme, there's always the chance that you'll end up among
the 10% unlucky ones. One net.friend of mine once said,
``Be prepared to do the time for the crime,'' and indeed, if you
can't afford getting caught, then you shouldn't do anything at all.
All around the world there are people in prison, people who thought
they would never get caught, some of which are very smart.
A few tings to always keep in mind
Here are a few
things to always keep in mind:
Never use your own telephone. Why? Because your target can
then track you with ease. It really only takes a caller-id and an
increasing number of people are getting it. Also, the telephone
companies could be logging all the calls that we make. Use a
phone-booth away from your vicinity and the path where you usually
travel.
Never drive to your mark's house with your own car. People
you know might see it, and later when your mark asks questions, it
may surface again.
Never work with your bare hands uncovered. Even if you
have never been fingerprinted in the past, such as for a military
service, there is no guarantee that this luxury will continue. Wear
gloves instead, but don't throw them away at the crime scene or you
may be forced to try them out in a courtroom.
Never let anyone see you. This might sound obvious, but
wearing black clothes at night might be a good idea. Just don't
stand out too much from your surroundings. Sometimes dressing casual
might be better than dressing dark, and camouflage gear is
definitely out of the question.
Never talk to anyone about what you have done. If someone
confronts you with the issue, act ignorant. This is where many
people fail and get caught. They have a trusted friend, who has a
trusted friend, who has a trusted friend, etc.
Never steal anything, unless you plan to throw it into a
river before you get home. It would be real hard to explain if
someone found an object belonging to your mark at your place after
he has had a break in.
Never use your own handwriting or your own printer. Even
if you try to forge the handwriting it is possible that they might
trace it back to you. A printer or a typewriter will also have its
own characteristics, often there is a character with certain
distinction due to wear and tear. The best thing is to use one at a
university, a school or one that is otherwise publicly accessible.
Never use saliva on stamps and envelopes. DNA analysis is
now a fact of life. People have been convicted because they did
this. Water from the spring will do just fine.
Never involve an accomplice, unless it is absolutely
necessary. The fewer who know about your work, the better it is.
Even if that other person is someone you trust with your life, it
still increases the risk when more people know about it.
Never threaten your mark. If you threaten your mark then
he knows you'll be up to something. He'll also know where to start
looking when something has happened and what names to fill under
suspicious persons in the entry box of a police report.
Never mail a letter from or near your home city/town,
workplace, etc. Use a re-mailer-service instead, or a trusted
friend from out of town.
Never buy supplies from a local dealer, and never use your
credit card or check in the purchase. These are obvious, but
unfortunately easy to forget when you don't plan things thoroughly.
Never leave written documentation, like name, address,
etc. at a place where it may be found. If you are storing such
information on your computer, then make sure to encrypt it first.
These precautions might seem a bit paranoid, but I bet that
about 90% of everyone who ever get caught didn't pay enough
attention to planning or one of the precautions above. Some of the
tactics in this book might break some of the rules above, but then
again you are allowed to use your own head to evaluate the risk.
After all, you are the one who will pay the penalty for failure.
Long distance revenge
``If I whet my glittering
sword, and mine hand take hold on judgment; I will render
vengeance to mine enemies, and will reward them that hate
me.''
-- Deuteronomy, Ch.32, V.41
When your mark doesn't live in your vicinity, there are two
channels for you to use. The first is the old classical postal
system. The other is any electronic wire, like a telephone or a
computer network.
Danger of detection
The danger of being detected while using one of these channels
increases with how advanced the technology is. This basically means
that the old postal system is the safest and easiest to use, and
that everything that is being done on a computer network, like the
Internet, is being log-filed; and unless you're a wizard, you're
most likely to be detected, tracked and caught.
Telephone precautions
Using the telephone might seem
like a safe channel, as you could be sitting on the other side of
the planet, plotting, preparing and executing your revenge. Do not
be fooled by this distance as it takes no more than a caller-id to
give away your identity. The first rule of long distance telephone
revenge is therefore to use a pay phone which isn't located too
close to where you live, work or travel.
You should never call the mark directly, at least if he was a
close friend or someone you have seen or talked too often. Changing
your voice with a piece of cloth, a voice-scrambler or any
machine-manipulation helps little the conversation might be recorded
and it is often possible to reverse that manipulation. The only good
solution to this is to involve a third party, preferably a secondary
mark who you can call, posing as the primary mark. You might also
use a trusted friend to make the call to your mark.
The mail system
One of the most classic, non-creative, ways of getting even
through the mail system is by using those rip-out order forms found
in commercial catalogues and magazines. Pull out the card and ask
for information, order a product or subscribe to the magazine.
All you need to know is the mark's name and address and within a
few minutes of work you'll be able to help him receive tons of
annoying paper. You could also use this method to help him buy
``bill me later'' goods. This isn't considered revenge art but still
one scheme that has worked for thousands over the years.
The power of empty messages
A different approach, one which
has a psychological touch, is to send your mark empty envelopes.
Make them arrive from different locations with different handwriting
over a period of, say, 2-35 years.
There are many variations to this tactic. You could, for
instance, send the envelope opened, indicating that someone is
stealing his mail. You could include a single piece of paper with
words like ``DEATH!'', ``LIAR!'', ``THIEF!'' or whatever seems
appropriate. The idea here is not to threaten the mark directly, but
to remind him of what he is. Just don't write anything that might
expose you as the originator of the messages.
Annoying non-smokers. One thing that you can do if you
are sending a letter to someone who isn't a smoker, is to include
cigarette ashes in the envelope. This fuels the fire caused by any
rude or annoying letter.
Unpaid post
Each country and state has different routines
when it comes to handling unpaid post. In Norway, for instance, it
is quite possible to send unpaid mail, and if that happens, the post
office sends the bill to the recipient. This can easily be
exploited. Get some pre-printed labels of your mark's name and
address, then put them on to a random number of envelopes and post
them over a random period of time.
You may want to check this scheme on yourself to see if it works.
It is vital that you don't put too many envelopes into the first
mailbox, because that will just trigger the post-office's suspicion.
One nice variation, if you have a secondary mark, is to put the
primary mark as the sender and then the secondary mark as the
recipient on the envelope, or vice versa. If you hate the whole town
that you live in, find a telephone dictionary and make every citizen
the recipient, i.e. one on each envelope, and then the primary mark
the sender of all the envelopes.
Forged letters
Forging letters in other people's name is illegal, but as long as
you never get caught, is there really anything to worry about?
Now for some examples using forged marks names.
Send a letter to your nation's custom department, asking
for a permit to import narcotics. You ought to write this out with
information saying that you have been a drug addict for a long time,
and that you can't afford buying it on the street anymore. Write
that it is for personal use only. It would even be better if your
mark really is a drug abuser.
Send a letter to the local church, where you ask about the
Christian view on sex with children. Tell them that you've read the
bible, but that you couldn't find anything there stating that it is
wrong. Also state that you're trying to quit, but that the
temptations are hard to handle.
Send a letter to his landlord, saying that you'll be
moving shortly. Give the landlord a specific date, and tell him that
he'll be on vacation until the days before the move. If you're
lucky, the landlord might start looking for new tenants without even
confronting your mark. This is also a great scheme if the landlord
is a secondary mark.
Browse the job market, and apply for positions in your
mark's name. Give his new employer all sorts of peculiar, suspicious
or incredible references, as if he has been working in your
country's leading positions and attending at the best Universities.
The object here is to have the employer go checking those
references, as if these references don't add up, then there most
certainly could be legal problems for your mark.
Apply for membership in certain groups, such as KKK,
Jehovah's Witnesses, NAMBLA (North American Men and Boy Love
Association), or anything controversial. Or subscribe them to
annoying book clubs like the Reader's Digest. Find something the
mark really hates or fears and sign him up there.
Apply for credit cards, etc. You will probably need your
mark's social security number to do this. You will not be able to
use them, it's just that it will really make him wonder when he
hasn't applied for the credit cards and they start arriving in the
mail. It might even make him think that someone is working a scheme
to abuse them, but that it is somehow failing.
Get an address change form, found at the post office. Make
his new address somewhere isolated, or have it forwarded to any
known criminal.
Write a letter to the reader's section of his local
newspaper, or the university newspaper. You'll have to customize
the letter to fit the crime, but you could do anything from
complaining about his boss/company to write something that would be
considered inappropriate with his friends.
Sending letters to your mark from a secondary mark might
also work nicely. A computer and a scanner are all you need to copy
off and make fake letterheads. The original letterhead can often be
retrieved by sending the secondary mark a simple inquiry about
something trivial, and then scan the letter head from the reply
note. Use a work or campus computer to print out the letter.
Write a letter from your mark's bank to your mark, saying
that his whole loan is due and that he has to pay it back
immediately, or they will go to court. You ought to come up with
some clever reason, for instance that another company has bought the
bank, and that they're now in the process of closing the business.
Date the letter a few weeks back before sending it, and time it to
arrive on a Saturday.
Write a letter from the local hospital, asking your mark
to come in for a checkup. Explain that a client with AIDS has named
him as a past sexual partner. Name a doctor at the hospital, which
should be a secondary mark, and tell your main mark that he should
just come over as soon as possible.
Send him a letter from magazines like Playboy or Playgirl,
thanking him for the photographs he sent them to the reader's
Husbands/Wives section. This is a good scheme to play out on an ex,
where you also could send the letter from a magazine that's not easy
to find in your area.
Send a letter from his teacher to his parents, describing
him as a hopeless problem child. This could be implemented nicely if
the teacher is a secondary mark, where you would write that you, the
teacher, would like their boy to be at school after school-time,
because you feel that you are so close to him, and that you feel
that you can communicate really well with him. The teacher would be
sounding like a really strange one, and the kid would be left with
councilors.
Write a letter from the local tax collector, where you
question his ability to buy a new cabin cruiser with as little as he
earns. Demand that he explain this, and why the same cabin cruiser
isn't on his tax report. Write that there most likely will be an
investigation, and ask him to come over to the office at a specific
date.
Write a letter from the local TV station, telling your
mark that he has won a $12,000 car. Tell him to meet at the TV
station at a specific time, like a late Saturday evening, for an
interview.
Junk mail
Junk mail can be pretty annoying. It's a good thing that there's
plenty of stuff to do with the reply-envelope, though. Just remember
to remove any references like your name, address and customer
identification before you do anything. Abuse of business reply
envelopes is a violation of postal service regulations in some
countries.
Junk mail and glue. Glue some pieces of paper together.
Put them into the reply-envelope and glue the entire envelope
together. This sounds pretty harmless, but imagine the poor fellow
trying to pull that sucker open without tearing it.
Cross-mail your junk mail. Just take company A's
order-form and swap it with company B's junk mail. This makes great
fun when you swap the porn catalogue with the local church's request
for donations.
Junk mail as bug-transportation. You can send cockroaches
and other bugs back to the junk mailer.
Just put sugar in the reply-envelope and glue it real well so the
recipient'll lose his patience and rip it open.
Handling junk mail
Personally, when the junk mail has
my address on it, I usually just use their postage pre-paid
envelopes and write a ``nice'' statement, saying that I don't care
much for their business. Norwegian law clearly states that if a
customer wishes to be taken off of a mailing list, they can simply
by asking to be removed from the database. This is not really
revenge, but still a good solution as I get almost no addressed junk
mail. I don't get much unaddressed junk mail either, the reason for
this is that one can reserve oneself from getting it. All you need
to do is to put a sticker on your mailbox.
Mail revenge warning
Before we move on to the telephone
section, I must urge you to please keep in mind that most of the
mail scenarios are illegal in several countries. In fact, they're a
federal offense in some cases, punishable by stiff fines and jail
sentences. If you choose to do it anyway, use a mailbox located far
away from your house, perhaps in a neighboring city or town that has
a different post office and stamp. The larger the city or town, and
the further from your own residence, the better. Also keep in mind
not to use your own saliva to lick the stamps, and not to get
fingerprints on letters or envelopes. Conceal your handwriting as
well. Read the precautions section carefully before commencing
revenge by mail.
The telephone
There are certainly several critical aspects about using the
telephone in revenge schemes. I have already mentioned these in the
previous safety section, but since I feel these are important
issues, I'll keep nagging about them, like I did in the last
paragraph in the previous chapter.
Precautions ad teidium
First issue is to never forget that
there are many people who have caller-id on their telephone, that
there's always a risk of being recognized by the person on the other
side, and that he could be recording your conversation. If you're
calling from a pay phone using a slightly different accent than the
one you use everyday, talking through a device that changes your
voice and use gloves or a cover when touching the pay phone, then
you should be fairly safe. That is, unless someone sees you use the
pay phone at that specific moment, using all that gear, causing them
to wonder what lunatic is on the phone. When the mark knows your
voice, it would be safer to have a trusted friend lend you his
voice, or involve a secondary mark who doesn't know your voice.
Basics
The most basic way of getting even by using the phone
system is to call a business and pretend you're the mark, then order
something from them. This could be a pizza restaurant, any magazine
(subscription), hotel (order rooms), travel agency (order tickets)
or someone who could be delivering gravel at your mark's house,
preferably when your mark is on a vacation. The downside about these
tactics is that you'll be involving a third party, and since your
mark could just deny ordering a pizza, the loss would be on the
shoulders of that innocent person or company and not your mark.
Still, if you have any secondary marks, like if you were wronged by
a travel agency, this kind of tactic could be appropriate. There are
variations of this tactic that might be more effective.
Stopping supplies
You could call the company that supplies
gas or electricity to your mark and tell them to shutdown the
gas/electricity supply. The best time to do this is at a Friday
morning or noon. When your mark returns from work that evening he'll
be greeted with a house without electric power, and the best part is
that he won't have any until the electric-workers return to work
after the weekend.
To complete this last one, call the phone company and have his
phone shutdown, tell them he is moving. Also call his ISP (Internet
Service Provider) and tell them that you won't need their services
anymore.
Cancel all his magazine/newspaper subscriptions and then call his
credit card issuer and tell them that his card was stolen,
impersonating him. You may get questions about birth date, address
and such, so be prepared before you make the call.
Phone terrorism
The next level of payback by using the phone
is much similar to the old telephone harassment. There are still
ways to exert this in a creative way without becoming as boring as
the call-your-mark-and-hang-up schemes. One way of doing this is to
simply call your mark. Let it ring once or twice and then hang up.
Do this randomly, day or night for increased effect. When the mark
is asleep he'll wake up just long enough to not get a stable good
nights sleep. At days he might even get annoyed enough to call the
phone company, thinking that something is wrong with his phone.
A different approach is to call your mark in the middle of night,
about 5AM and pretend to be a hyperactive telemarketer who is
selling encyclopedias. Pretend that you're calling from a different
time zone, and if he confronts you with the time in his zone then
just carry on with the sale. If he wants the number to your boss,
either give him the number to a secondary mark or the number to a
police chief in the appropriate time zone. This works great when
your mark is a salesman who has somehow wronged you.
Wakeup calls
Wakeup calls are often used by pranksters,
but they also make good use in light revenge schemes. The problem is
just how to make the order call as some of the services require that
you call from the some phone you want a wakeup at. At present, in
the US, you can go to a web-page, http://www.mrwakeup.com/
and order a wakeup call. This web-page may be down when you read
this, but there are always other alternatives. The same goes for
fax-back services found at http://www.intellifax.com/
and I am sure various other web-pages. Just remember that the
services provided may log your IP and track the request back to you,
more of this in section 2.4.
Collect calls
Another way of dealing with real long
distance revenge is to call your mark collect, pretending to be his
father. Give the operator his father's name and when you're
connected, cough and grumble or just try to not expose who you are
until some time has passed. This one is a bit tricky, but it might
have the double effect that it hurts the mark's phone-bill in
addition to making him worry about whether his father is alright or
not.
Obscure calls
It's also really fun to just call your
mark in the middle of the night, pretending that it is he who is
calling you. Act confused, act tired, act annoyed and cranky.
Threaten to report him to the police and finally slam the phone
down. Spontaneity is a key factor here.
Making ``appointments''
In situations where you have a trusted friend at your side, the
number of plays increases, especially if your friend is of the
opposite sex from your mark, and that friend has a good imagination
and great skills in acting.
A date?
One thing a friend could help you do is call
your mark, tell him that she had seen him somewhere and that she (or
he) would like to date him. Of course your friend would never meet
at the date, but if you manage to play the mark, then he will.
Implied adultery
When the mark lives with a spouse or a
girlfriend you, or your trusted accomplice, could call her up when
you know he won't be there. When the spouse picks up the phone,
present yourself. When she has given her name, you proceed by
telling her that you're his (the mark's) girlfriend/fiancée and that
she must be his sister. Continue without letting her interrupt by
saying that the mark is such a good guy who takes care of her. Act
surprised when she tells you who she is. Explain that it must be a
misunderstanding, that you've dated him for quite some time.
This requires that you have some time and locations where you
were supposed to be together with him, and that you'll have to
survey him a bit in advance. Also be ready to answer tricky
questions, such as personal questions about the mark. Just don't
give his new love your real name.
The idea is to make your mark's spouse suspect that something is
going on between you and your mark. To increase the paranoia that
this scheme could cause, start calling them at random times, and
just hang-up the phone if it is answered.
Variations
You could also pose as the mark's former gay
lover, actually there are a lot of ways to do this since these
tactics works in both directions. It all depends a bit on how much
you know the person you're supposed to be with, and how well your
mark knows you or your friend's voice.
Pagers
Pagers are also fun to play with. Just page your mark
and leave another pager number. Leave his own telephone number or
leave the phone number of his boss, a local drug dealer, the local
police chief or some 800-number phone sex line. Page secondary marks
and have them call your primary mark and vice versa.
Fax machines
There are also things that you can do with a
fax machine. Just remember most fax machines print their telephone
numbers on the top page of the page they're sending. I advise to you
check on this first, unless you're in a situation where you want the
mark to know who are sending him the garbage, or you are borrowing
the fax at an office where they don't know you.
Infinite faxes
One known way to exploit faxes is to
make an eternal loop by gluing the end of the fax paper to the start
of it. Call the mark's company and let the fax run for a whole
weekend. You can also create a single piece of paper with the text
System Error 1207: Internal controller
failure
then make another paper with the text
disconnect the machine and contact qualified
repair personnel
Send both pages, or loop them, on
a late Friday afternoon and hope that they'll go for it.
Big companies
When your mark works at a big company
then it is likely that someone will read or at least have a look at
the fax for sorting purposes. Send your mark a page with a big heart
from his lover of the opposite of his sexual preference.
Black magic
An old fax trick is to loop completely
black pages to your mark's fax. This trick is particularly nasty to
play on old thermal-paper faxes, which might even be ruined by the
heat caused by only printing black. Other faxes will spit out paper
and ink worth dollars.
Handling telemarketing and pranksters
I think that I'll
spend the last parts of this telephone revenge chapter by giving you
a few ideas about what to do with telemarketers and other phone
pranksters. Now, since I don't know which country you will be
reading this book in, I would have no clue about what legal aspects
of this that you should be careful about. Just remember that the
telemarketer will know who you are when they call.
Shocking the telemarketer
One way of behaving is by
giving the telemarketer the impression that he has dialed some
S&M freak. When you hear that it is a telemarketer on the other
side of the line, go ahead by yelling, ``Get back into the cage ya
bitch!'' as if you were in the midst of something when he called
you. You could also hit the couch a couple of times and have a
friend scream in the background. End the conversation with, ``I
gotta go, my dog/cat/girlfriend/boyfriend is being disobedient.''
Asking questions
When a telemarketer calls you, and you
are bored, try starting all kinds of dumb questions about the
product, like as if you're a bit retarded. After a while when they
hang up on you, call them back. Either do a *69 (if you live in USA)
or use a caller-id, and demand that you talk to their boss. Complain
about their rude treatment.
Being rude
When the telemarketer is of the opposite
sex, actually same sex also works, start asking about her/his
underwear, what type of sexual positions she/he likes and so forth.
Sometimes the telemarketers might ask for a specific person, e.g.
the lady of the house. When they do, begin sobbing and explain that
she/he was killed in an automobile accident the preceding day, and
ask if this is some sort of sick joke.
Calling back
Tell them that you're very interested in
their offer, but that you are very busy at the moment. Ask for their
home number and tell them you will call them there later. If they
say ``No, sorry, etc.,'' then respond sternly, ``Oh, so you don't
want anyone bothering you at home, huh?'' then hang up. If they give
you the number, then use it as toilet graffiti or something.
Being gross
Tell them something like, ``Hold on. I am
going to get the cordless phone, so I can continue this conversation
while I use the restroom.'' Pause for a second or two and then
continue. If they didn't hang up, make grunting sounds plopping and
make sure you flush the toilet a few times. If they don't hang up by
now, make comments like ``I don't remember eating corn?'' and ``can
someone get me some toilet paper.'' If that doesn't get them, then
tell them to call back later because the toilet overflowed and you
need to clean it up.
A quickie
A quick way of ending a conversation with a
telemarketer is to just say something like, ``I am not allowed to
talk to anyone until my assault case has been heard.'' Then just
hang up.
Obscure payment
When you're not in a real hurry and
there's a telemarketer calling, pretend to be really fired up about
their product. When the time comes to close the purchase, try to use
your Sears card or Zellers card something that is not viable
currency, then insist that the company is at fault for not taking
that card.
Handling pranksters
People always seem helpless when they're
facing telephone-pranksters. I guess one method of finding them is
either using a callback (known as *69 in the US) or you can have an
operational caller-id. Still neither will do you any good if the
pranksters are calling from a pay phone.
One way is to do the good old whisper silently in the beginning
then suddenly make a horrible scream or you could blow in a whistle.
You can also bluff them by saying that you have a caller-id, and
that you now know who they are, and that you will visit them
tonight. Also advise them to stay away from the windows because
you'll have a shotgun with you, or your killer dog, Jaws.
Boring music
One way of dealing with both telemarketers
and prank callers is to have some utterly boring music taped on
either your answering machine or your tape recorder. Just tell them
to wait a second then play the music for about 10 minutes, they'll
surely hang up.
Equal treatment
Telephone harassment can also be met
with the same attitude back. If a sick man calls you in the middle
of the night, talking about your underwear, then steer the
conversation over to his little penis. Say that you can't possibly
fall for someone who ain't taller than 6'5", and that someone with
such a tiny little penis could probably never satisfy you. This
might be a bit dangerous as you might manage to get the person
coming over to your house to show you his real penis, but usually
this should stop them, as they're probably not used to being talked
to that way.
Another way of reacting is by acting calm, talking in a firm,
unaffected voice saying, ``Oh, no. I am sooo afraid. I think I am
going to call the police and tell them that the bad man at XXX-XXXX
on my caller-id is harassing me.'' Then hang up.
The Internet
``newbie n.: (Originally from
British public-school and military slang variant of 'new-boy') A
USENET neophyte. Criteria for being considered a newbie vary
wildly; a person can be called a newbie in one newsgroup while
remaining a respected regular in another.''
-- The Hacker's Dictionary
The Internet is one of the most difficult arenas to carry out
safe long distance revenge. The reason for this is that everything
that is being done is being log-filed.
Regarding logging
If you log in on your net account, then
there's a program that writes information about who you are and when
you login, into a file. When you access a web-page, then the
web-server logs the time and your computer's address. The same goes
for every kind of Internet service, they all keep a log. This is
done so that they can trace any connection back to the originator.
Basics
One secure way of getting even through the net, is by
using a computer where you don't have to give away your login name
and password, and where nobody can confirm that you were at the
terminal, behind that keyboard at that specific time. This situation
becomes real when you're at a public terminal at a library, or in an
Internet café where nobody knows you or can prove that you're at the
terminal at the specific time.
There are also some limitations on carrying out your revenge from
a library computer. One is that you can't access programs that you
normally would have on your system, unless the library gives access
to disks, which they rarely do for security reasons. If you try to
grab something out of your own account or web-page, then it will be
logged and things could be traced back to you. The tools that you
most often are limited to are therefore a WWW-client, Telnet and
FTP. Knowledge in using and understanding how these tools work is
essential.
Another problem with the net is that things change at an
incredible pace. Things that seem obvious and easy today will most
likely change even before this book is released. This is really why
I would not recommend newbies to try to get even through the net.
Now for a few ideas.
Internet revenge ideas
The first thing you need to do, as
said, is getting access to a publicly available computer without
giving away your identity. When this is done, you may enter the
web-browser configuration, changing the name and email to the one of
your mark. This will lead newbies to believe that it is your mark
who is at the console, the more advanced Internet users will
recognize the difference.
The next thing to do might be to put out a few contact ads with
your mark's name, address and phone numbers on. Use every source
available like alt.sex.wanted and alt.personals on
the Usenet. On the web there are many contact ad sites. You should
save time by finding these sites and others in advance, and writing
them onto a piece of paper. When forging contact ads in his name
becomes boring, try selling stuff in the market groups or through
appropriate web-walls.
There are many places on the net where you can leave his name and
E-mail address for subscriptions on things like magazines and
web-page updates. Search the net for a little while and you will
easily find such services. The nice thing about mailing lists is
that the mark would have to go searching through a lot of text to
find out how to unsubscribe from them.
One way to give your mark a lot of negative attention is to just
be obnoxious on the net. You can start spamming (posting commercial
ads or make money fast schemes) to various newsgroups or you can
behave like a real obnoxious asshole (flaming). There is still a
chance that this might not have any effect, as there are many idiots
out there already. A different approach might be needed.
Send an email to his system-administrator where you write that he
will not be needing his Internet account anymore. Don't forget to
mention the bad service you've been getting and that a slow feed is
mainly the reason for changing ISP. E-mail requests to various other
ISP's requesting prices, ask for a subscription.
Dealing with Internet harassment
There are many people who
have experienced being harassed on the Internet. This often becomes
very frustrating, especially if you're a newbie and don't know how
things work. Oldtimers don't want to teach you anything; they just
want you to go away, so that you can't bother them with your simple
questions. This is, of course, dependent on what environment you
operate in, but in general, you'll experience it as something really
tough to fight, because you'll never see or hear the offender. All
that you will see is a cryptic message header, which doesn't really
say much to someone who hasn't got a clue. So, what do you do? When
you receive an abusive message, being through electronic mail or in
any Usenet group, the first thing you should do is to try to figure
out as much as you can about the sender. Save the message, with the
complete header, or print it out if necessary. If you think that the
origin of the message is clear, then you could forward the whole
message (with all headers intact) to the offender's system
administrator. The system administrator has email addresses like
abuse@(domain), postmaster@(domain) and support@(domain).
You should also report the abuse to the police if you find it
serious enough, and if it is a student you should report him to the
Dean of Student Affairs. If it makes references to your race,
ethnicity, or sexual orientation, you may also want to contact The
American Civil Liberties Union or one of various group-oriented
civil-right groups like the NAACP, JDL, ADL, Americans with
Disabilities or ACTU-UP, or similar groups in your country.
There is
one, rather annoying presence on the net. The name of the menace is
spammers. Spammers are the Internet's version of junk mailers,
posting both to Usenet groups and your personal mailbox. They are
either trying to sell you something, or make you interested in some
pyramid scheme. You might avoid them by posting anonymously, i.e.
posting on the Usenet without using your real email address, but in
some way or another they always seem to find your mailbox.
It doesn't help much to send out mail-bombs (logical mail bombs,
which is either to send in hundreds of duplicates or a few huge
messages), threats don't work either, simply because these
individuals are experts in hiding their identity and most often
their reply address is bogus. However, to be able to sell you a
product, they need a way for customers to reach them. This could
either be a web-page or a telephone number.
If an 800-number is mentioned in the message, then don't hesitate
to call them up and complain about the spam. One guy who wanted to
get even with a spammer who left his 800-number in the spam, wrote
his own sex-spam and posted it to the alt.sex.* groups. It sounded
somewhat like, ``Hot sex talk, absolutely free, no hidden charges,
no 900-number call-back, no credit cards required -- call (spammer's
telephone number) and talk to a wet babe!'' -- one might want to
add, ``for a limited testing time only.'' This is just an example on
how one can handle spam. Another way is to write a complaint to the
producer of a product, from whom the originator of the spam is the
dealer.
You should also know that there are agencies
that you can report pyramid schemes to, like in the US you have the
fraud department of IRS, National Fraud Information Center and
Bureau of Consumer Protection. You also have http://www.fraud.org/ which is
the Internet Fraud watch.
Spammers are picking up your email address at both the
Usenet (news) and web-pages. If you don't want to be bothered by
these junk mailers, I suggest you don't leave your email address
around on the net. If you have a good news reader, you can alter
your email address slightly, to your@address.remove, or you
can set up an auto-responder with your real email address, try
sending a mail to viking97@ekran.no, and you'll see what I
am talking about. There are many decent news clients that have a
killfile system. I recommend that you do not use Microsoft Internet
Explorer or Netscape Communicator, but that you find programs like
knews, tin or slrn for Unix or Forte Free Agent for Windows.
``A man's greatest work is to
break his enemies, to drive them before him, to take from them all
the things that have been theirs, to hear the weeping of those
that cherished them, to take their horses between his knees and
press in his arms the most desirable of their women.''
-- Genghis Kahn
Destructive payback has both its advantages and disadvantages.
One thing in particular that you should consider is the fact that
many people have their property insured, and although you may
momentarily put the mark into agony, the real cost are often carried
by the innocent insurance companies. There might be a fixed price
that the owner must cover before the insurance company starts paying
any damage. You better check this out in any case.
Another problem with destructive payback is that you will be
moving a lot more closer to the mark and/or his property. This
automatically put you in jeopardy of being exposed, and this is
paticulary bad as you as well could in conflict with the law. This
is why these schemes are the ones that should be most carefully
planned before being carried out. It is important that these plans
include the daily routine of your mark, even though he might break
this routine at any time.
When you have his routine you also have a better knowledge on how
and when to hit him. A backup plan is certainly not the last thing
you should think of here, as you should know what to do upon being
detected.
If it weren't for car alarms and locked garages, cars would be
the easiest of all targets. It still might be that your mark has his
car in his driveway, just locked, but still pretty much accessible.
Your research should already have given you ideas on how accessible
your mark's car is. Even though his car has a car alarm, there are
still a few schemes available for you to implement.
There's plenty of ways to ruin a car without using the old
non-creative ``slice-a-car-tire'' scheme.
Get some
spray paint and spray-paint some text onto the side of his car.
Apparently some feminist group used this trick in Oslo/Norway,
during the mid-70'ties when they went along and sprayed ``whore
customer!'' on the side of whore-customer's cars. Other things that
could be written includes, ``DRUG DEALER!'', ``I cheated on my
wife'', ``Registered sex offender'', ``Paroled rapist'', ``Child
molester'' or simply ``I love to kill cats!''
Customized paint jobs. A white car easily turns into a
Dalmatian dog look-a-like by spraying black dots onto it. Cut a
circle in a piece of cardboard if you want to do a neat job. Other
symbols might also be appropriate, depending on who your mark is,
like Nazi-symbols, inverted crosses, Satanic symbols, or just
anything that would really scare your mark.
Paint stripper. At a supply store you can get a can of
paint stripper. indexcar!paint stripper Gloves are recommended as
this stripper is strongly acidic. It only takes a couple of seconds
to walk by a car with this. Silicone sprayed onto cars also does
wonders with the paint. You might even check something called liquid
scratch. These schemes work great if the car is parked outside your
mark's apartment, and you only need the guts to do a little walk-by.
Bologna. Bologna is said to have the most astonishing
effect on car paint. Just place some slices on the hood of the car
when it is a bit dewy outside and let it dry in with the morning sun
the next day. The result is Polka-dot paint!
Attachments. Small plastic lizard or other cute little kid
toys make nice hood ornaments. Apply superglue of any sort and place
them at the front of the hood where some cars have their company
shield. You can also buy a corrosive or an oxidizing agent from your
local hardware store, pour it on your mark's exhaust or anywhere
else where it would have an effect.
Next is the windshield, which you can totally
ruin by getting one of those glue sticks that is used in hot glue
guns. Warm the stick in your hand a little and smear it out onto
your mark's windshield. You can also use concrete sealant which is a
nasty, sticky liquid used to waterseal concrete after it is poured.
When you've spread it on the windshield it will appear like a lovely
cloudy, yellow coating.
Wipers. A different way to ruin a windshield is to first
put some glue onto the whindshield wipers, and then add some sand
onto the glue. Just make sure the wipers don't get close to the
windshield before the glue has dried. Next time your mark is using
the wipers, he'll scratch up his own windshield. Other substances
that do nicely on your mark's windshield include corn oil, vaseline,
tar or paint. If you want to be subtle about it, you can pour it
into an open plastic bag and just throw it onto the windshield.
The heater intake vent. When you're done playing with the
windshield, pour a couple of eggs down the heater intake vent on the
car. Wipe off anything that doesn't go in the vent so the mark
doesn't know it's in there. They may notice a strange smell at
first, but nothing compared to how it will smell in a few days. If
you are out of eggs, try fox urine lure from your local hunting
supply store. You can use a syringe to retrieve and deploy the fox
urine from the original bottle. This way you can save yourself from
the foul stench and at the same time it will make it easier to spray
the urine onto the rubber gaskets or the coating that seals the
windows and doors.
Other substances that fit nicely into the vent are milk, urine,
strong acids or liquid rust. You can also make your own cocktail by
putting some shrimp-shells into a bottle of water, then let it rest
in the sun for a week or two, or you could take a potato, slice a
deep cut in it and scrub it with dirt. Put it into an airtight
container filled with water and close it. Bacteria from the mud will
consume the potato, creating a foul stench, granted there's no
access to air.
An easy way to fix the tires is to remove or add the balancing
weights from the wheels. The tires will be out of balance and
driving will not be good for either the tires or the suspension. The
mark will have to spend some time and money on having a garage
rebalance the tires.
This next one requires some work, but if you get some trusted
friends with you, then you can put your mark's car on blocks and
take off all the nuts on the wheels. Put super-glue on the threads
of the bolts and screw on the nuts as tightly as possible. File the
edges of the nuts so a wrench cannot easily grip them. Puncture all
four tires. His mechanic will need literally weeks to get it back on
the road. Red loc-tite is better when used on fasteners. Heat up the
lug-nuts until they're red hot. This will surely play havoc on
aluminum rims and possibly warp brake rotors.
The engine is usually the least accessible part of your mark's
car. Still there are lots of things you can do if you're lucky
enough to get into it, or under it. For instance, get two or three
cans of shaving foam. Open the hood of your mark's car and set them
on the exhaust manifold (that place will be hot). You may need some
duct tape to keep them in place. When the engine warms up, the cans
explode, covering the engine with shaving foam. If you use WD40
(oil) or deodorant, then the can will explode and the car might
catch fire. This is not recommended as it might injure your mark or
even innocent bystanders.
Under the hood there is tons of stuff to do. If you come prepared
(as you should), you can drop a bolt (about 3/4 inch) into the
sparkplug holes, and the cylinders will fracture and total the
engine.
At a hardware store you can buy a small can of butane, the kind
you use to refill a lighter. Drill a small hole in your mark's
distributor cap. Squirt a small amount of butane in and quickly
cover the hole with duct tape. When the car starts up, the sparking
in the distributor will set off the butane, blowing the distributor
cap right off the engine. Stealing the distributor will prevent your
mark from starting the car. Take the distributor cap out and run a
graphite pencil over the rotor blades/brushes, this will make the
engine sputter and misfire.
There's a solution available from Force Ten that can turn oil
into Jello. You can also introduce Styrofoam, naphtha or tide into
the engine oil. The easiest way is to get under the car, with a
container and a wrench, then open the oil-screw beneath the car and
let the oil run into the container. Tighten the screw and get
yourself out of the area. Often the oil-warning lamp will
malfunction and the engine will be totally inoperable. Anti-freeze
added to the oil turns it into a brown, milky foam. Even if no
direct damage is done, the mark and/or mechanic will think there is
a blown head gasket or a cracked head or block, leading to very
expensive repairs.
Move on into the battery compartment and put three or four
Alka-Seltzers into it, or some other substance like oil or soap.
Next, slide in under the front of the car, and poke a hole in the
lower radiator hose by using a sharp ice pick. The puncture would
close itself and everything would be just fine until the engine gets
up to a critical temperature and then the coolant will blow out the
hole.
The gas tank is also a popular place to stuff things into. The
most common being sugar, but ping-pong balls slit halfway through,
filled with crystal Drano also does the job. Use a balloon with a
tiny hole or something similar, when you live in the states where
the hole ain't big enough for ping pong balls. Crystal Drano is a
chemical used to unclog pipes. Tape the ping-pong ball together
again after applying the Drano. The ping-pong ball will dissolve in
the gasoline, and when the Drano gets in touch with the fuel a
violent chemical reaction will occur. Rumor has it that it'll even
stand a van on it's nose. My suggestion is that you leave this at
the thought.
Other things to put into the fuel tank could be crushed cork,
silicone carbide or icing sugar. Dissolve some mothballs in gas and
add it to your mark's tank. This will make the engine run hot. The
engine oil breaks down, and then the engine seizes. It is hard to
trace and damage is already done when person realizes the engine is
hot. Sabotaging the fuel line could be done by making a hole in the
fuel tank. Afterwards you may call the fire department and they'll
come tow the car away and give the owner a stiff fine.
One way of getting back at your mark is to tie his car to
something on his house. A front balcony might be just fine, or
attach it to the doorknob on a gardening house door. Use a solid
rope or a chain, about 20-30 yards is more than enough. Cover it
with sand or something. The longer the rope is, the more speed he
will have gained before anything happens.
You can have a lot of fun with bumper stickers. Get some sort of
racially offensive bumper sticker and put them onto his car. Survey
the local area and find out what ethnic group is the most militant,
and use something that goes against that group in your scheme.
Otherwise, use generic ``White/Black Power'', or whatever. If the
car is parked next to a handicapped space, some pushing might be all
that is needed to move it into the handicapped space. Put an
anti-police bumper sticker on its bumper and call the police. You
could enhance this by putting a little bag of pot past the doorframe
where it can be seen.
At times your mark might be a neighbor who has a cheap car alarm
that constantly goes off. This is a problem that might be solved
easily. I recommend you write a nice message on a piece of paper,
wrap it around a brick and place the brick on top of the hood of the
offending car whose alarm constantly goes off. The message should
say something like, ``Next time your alarm goes off, this brick will
go through your window - prick.'' This is more a solution than a
severe revenge scheme.
Other schemes might include totally saran wrapping the mark's car
(coat it with blank plastic used to pack food), tucking it into
band-aids, or do like some students in Ohio who got their hands on a
large amount of plaster bandages, the kind wrapped around splints
which harden and form a cast. It took four of them ten minutes to
completely mummify the car, then they ran a hose over it and
hardened it solid.
On cold nights you may put a lawn sprinkler on the top of your
mark's car. Let the sprinkler run with just a little bit of water
through all the night. By morning there should be a thick layer of
ice coating the whole car.
Under the cover of a dark night, you could easily get an
opportunity to sneak into your mark's garden, do some damage and
then get out without getting caught. During the day you would do
better by not sneaking in, as it would look strange. Instead you
should pretend to be a gardener, a pool caretaker, a cable guy or
even someone from the electric company. Dressing up in stealthy
clothing usually brings more attention than wanted. Dress casual,
avoid sharp colours and you should be fine.
Salt works
great for killing lawns permanently. Use a relatively large quantity
of sea-salt and spread it around the whole lawn. Similar effects can
be achieved by using lime, weed seeds or even diesel fuel. For the
artistic avenger I recommend writing anything from ``bitch!'' to
``asshole!'' Any simple word would do as long sentences and words
are harder to read. Also, unless you're doing this at night, you
should not set the fuel on fire as it will make the grass die, where
applied, and have the wanted effect in less time. The opposite
effect is achieved by spreading fertilizer onto the lawn. It will
cause the grass to grow twice as fast on the places where you've
spread it. If you use too much fertilizer, then the grass will
change colour.
Frosted flakes also look nice on a lawn. Go to the mark's house
late at night and spread the flakes out all over their lawn. The
morning dew will moisten the flakes slightly, then the sun comes out
and bakes them into one huge frosted flake. Later, when the ants
come, it could get really entertaining.
Seagulls love bread, and one awesome way to feed them is to throw
bits of old bread into your mark's garden at night. At dawn the
birds will discover the food and they will have a little party on
the mark's lawn. The great thing about birds is that they just can't
shut up while partying, so they will most likely wake your mark up
in the midst of their feast, and they'll not leave easily either.
It is not a nice thing to do, but there have been some cases
where people have extended the previous scheme by adding alcohol to
the bread. You can probably imagine for yourself what effect that
might have on the poor birds, especially if someone should call the
police from a phone booth, claiming that they saw the mark feed the
seagulls with alcoholic bread.
Plastic forks are great. You can get huge quantities of them for
a low price, and with fellow avengers you can plant them into your
mark's garden at night, preferably when he's on a vacation. This
scheme might be mild, but fun to implement and gives quite an
annoyance for the mark.
Destroying a tree is easy. Make a salt solution by adding water
to salt, stir and then pour it at the base of the tree. Another way,
one more obvious, is to strip about six inches of bark round the
tree. This will prevent the nutrients produced by the leaves to get
to the roots for storage and vice versa. You can also ruin your
mark's tree by applying copper tacks or nails. Put them into the
roots and clip off their heads, and they'll be as good as invisible.
One method that I learned as an environmentalist (it was also
featured in an X-files episode) was to put huge steel nails into the
tree. When the mark, in this case a timbering company, came to cut
it down, they got their equipment ruined by the heavy-duty nail. You
should think carefully before implementing this scheme as the
chainsaw chain could snap and seriously injure the logger, and you
don't want to hurt an innocent person.
Your mark might not have such a big garden, but it could be that
he owns a garage. There are limits to what you can do with locked
garage, but painting stuff, like large dots, on the side of the
garage is really something to consider. Your mark will have to spend
both time and money removing it.
Inside his garage there are certainly several things that could
be done, but this depends a bit on who your mark is and what he has
inside his garage. Putting nails, the sharp ones with big flat backs
which are often used to hang up posters, onto the garage floor is
usually a good start.
Another
annoying scheme can be as simple as putting rocks into your mark's
mailbox each morning. This could be done before your mark goes off
to work, or when he has left. Just remember what was said earlier
about tampering with mail and mailboxes, which in most cases are
considered federal offences. For the more advanced avenger I suggest
building a pyramid of rocks on your mark's lawn. Most things can be
thrown into your mark's lawn, things like garbage, cod, pasta,
paint, paper, eggs, defecation, images of Mao, rocks, porn
magazines, tomb stones and your mark's neighbor's things are all
popular.
One easy way to get back at your mark is to go to a hardware
store and buy a good lock. You might have an old lock yourself, one
that needs to be changed due to rust or general wear and tear. In
these situations you could just use the new one yourself and then
put the old lock onto your mark's mailbox. He might eventually
manage to cut it off, but it'll cause quite an annoyance.
Ants and other insects love honey. Pour some honey into his
mailbox, or fill the whole mailbox with cement. Also if the mailbox
has a flag, you can glue it upwards using superglue.
Concrete walls make good arenas for walls. Don't just
tag the wall with random profanities, be artistic about it as that
will give it more attention. There is a special kind of graffiti
that really sticks around. Get a big sheet of paper and write your
message on it with liquid Ajax or Comet
(Depending on whether you live in Europe on in the USA). Take the
paper where the wall is, douse it in lighter fluid, stick it to the
wall, make a lighter fluid trail away from the wall and light it.
The whole thing burns in about one second, so there is no fire
danger (unless you applied it to a material that easily burn), but
your message gets stuck to the wall by a chemical process, and it is
almost impossible to get it off without painting over it.
Crickets could become nice pets for your mark. They are cheap,
noisy and usually available at your local pet-shop. Release them in
the evening, or at night through your mark's window or into the mail
slot. This is something you should time to be done the night before
his exam, or some other big event. Do not do this if your mark lives
in your neighborhood, as these critters move around.
For the mark with a fountain I recommend getting some colouring
dye, or if you wish to be more advanced; Kodak and other chemical
companies sell certain classes of chemicals called surfactants.
These essentially make water more slippery. In a fountain with low
tolerance, water hits 1 inch from the edge. A good surfactant can
send the water splashing 3 inches beyond the fountain pool. This
drains the fountain in short order, and burns out the pump. There
are certainly many other things that which you can apply to the pool
like oil, bubble bath, soap, cement, coloured dye, dead animals,
defecation, moth balls, dead or live fish, stuff bought at Taco
Bell, etc.
Sometimes people have problems with assholes driving by their
mailbox, beating it down with a bat, or plowing it down with a
snowplow. A working solution is to get two mailboxes, one large, one
a bit smaller. Put the smaller mailbox into the larger and pour
cement in between. Now, just let the mailbox bashers come and break
their arms. This doesn't help much against snowplows though. If you
are up against something heavier, drive a heavy pipe into the ground
next to your mailbox. Just make sure it reaches the top of your
mailbox. Paint the pipe black as a dark night. In extreme
situations, go to a scrap yard and get a 5-6 feet long I-Beam. Dig a
hole, pour concrete into it and then plant the I-Beam. This should
work well against snowplower who can't see the difference between
the road and your mailbox. It also works nicely as protection
against the occasional youngsters who wish to drive down your
mailbox.
There are some assholes who just can't leave your leaf-pile
alone. It could be that they're either driving through it, or
kicking it all out. In any case, your hard work collecting the pile
would be for nothing when this happens, unless you put the leaf-pile
over a cinder-block or something else that is hard and heavy. The
prick-head might run over it again, but will probably not repeat it
after doing it once with an iron block stuffed inside it.
The mark's home is his personal ground. It is close to him, the
place where he usually should feel safe and private. Violating this
ground is often difficult, yet rewarding at the same time.
Security and surveillance should be paid much attention in these
cases. You don't have to be technical about it, actually it might be
as easy as sneaking into a party which your mark is having. You
could also get yourself some lock-picking equipment (and experience)
but then we would be talking about breaking in, and last time I
checked it was a still illegal to do so. Dorm rooms are more easily
accessible, but you would still be breaking in. There are pages on
the Internet talking about lock picking, one well known originating
from MIT is easily obtainable on the Internet.
College dorms have all one thing in common, shoddy workmanship.
Due to the design of the doors, it is possible to wedge a number of
pennies between the doorframe and the door when the door is locked.
Push the door as far in as you can while it is locked, then wedge
pennies between the frame and the catch. This is known as pennying a
door. It might be that a someone has already played this on you, and
if you want to escape through such a trap, simply pull the door
towards you as hard as you can, kick the door in the corner below
the catch. This should dislodge the pennies.
Dorm doors are also easy targets for signs saying, ``Do not
disturb! Masturbating intensely!'' They should be as easy to make as
tearing them down. The more you go hanging them up after your mark
has torn them down, the more annoying they get. You could also apply
the old, glass'n'glue trick to this one. Take a bucket of wallpaper
glue and thoroughly crush some glass into it. Put some glue onto the
door, hang up the poster, and then put glue onto the poster. This
trick was widely used by political left-wingers in the 70-ties when
their posters often were torn down by their opponents. If you want
to make certain that nobody gets permanent injuries, I suggest you
leave the glass out.
One prankish way of getting back at your mark in a dorm, is to
get a few hundred plastic cups. When the mark is away for the
weekend, or the whole day, pick his door lock and get into his room.
Fill the cups with water and place them one-by-one to cover the
entire floor in his room. I suggest you find some friends to help
you with this one.
One different prank that has been played at several dorms in the
US, where co-students had covered the dorm door with a brick wall
(makeing the room disappear) while the mark was on a weekend
holiday. You can probably find references and pictures of this on
the net.
Doors are nice targets for substances that have a foul stench.
Scramble some eggs. Add some green food dye and a little bit of
garlic salt. Pour it all over your mark's door or doormat. Let it
soak in for a good while, while your mark is away for the weekend.
Other things that you can smear onto doors are animal defecation,
tar, chlorine or something foul smelling mentioned earlier in the
car section of this book.
Any garden hose carrying water is a nice tool for the ones
seeking to get even. Hook up the hose, push it through the mail-slot
on the front door and then simply turn it on. A funny variation here
is to use your mark's neighbor's garden hose. You should also spray
some kind of sealer at the bottom of the door to make the house hold
more water. If you use a good window insulator, you might even be
able to seal the whole door shut. Check around your local hardware
store to find the best suitable insulator.
Let's say that your mark is living in an area where they have
cable TV. On the outside you will find one of the boxes they use to
connect the main wire to the different houses. Open the box, unhook
wires, flip switches and do whatever seems good. Close the box and
get to a pay phone, call and tell the cable company that you saw
your mark messing around with the box. This works great if your mark
doesn't have cable. You could also drag a wire from the box to his
house.
Another thing you can do is to find where the cable is buried.
Dig it up, cut it and use some black tape to cover the cutting. The
cable company will most likely need a few days to find the error.
Use this tactic during the Olympics or any other big event. If your
mark is the cable company then do this at several places. You can
also short circuit the cable by putting a metal piece into in, e.g.
use a needle or anything similar to connect the ground to the main
signal.
Quite a
few of our previous readers have experienced situations where their
next door apartment neighbor is playing loud music at night, and
where reasoning with him doesn't help. It might be frustrating, but
there are ways to fight this kind of neighbor. Get a cheap plug-in
radio and a large cardboard box. Open one end of the box, put the
radio in and tape the open end firmly against the wall next to their
bedroom. Keep the box off the floor, no reason to disturb the ones
downstairs. Tune the radio to a station with any music that your
mark doesn't like. The radio doesn't have to be very loud, the box
acts as an acoustic coupler to the wall. The bigger the box the
better. Turn the radio on when you get up. Off when you go to sleep.
Do this every day. If anybody asks why just say you're afraid of
burglars. When the asshole next door stops by to complain, use the
same arguments that he used when you complained to him about loud
music.
A different approach to the same problem could be to just get
yourself a large bowling ball. Hold it up in the air and drop down
on the floor. Do this at random intervals throughout the day. This
naturally only works if it is the neighbor's downstairs who causes
you trouble. A variation of this is to get a big weightlifting
plate. Put the plate on the floor and spin it around like you would
with a quarter on a tabletop. Jump on the weight when it's just
about to settle.
Now let's move into the bathroom. These schemes would be executed
at a party or at a public toilet. Saran wrap is fun. You can also
wrap it over the top of the toilet bowl on your mark's toilet and
then put the seat down. This works especially well if your mark is a
woman. Pour syrup on the toilet seat. You can't readily see it, but
your mark will stick to the seat. Some toilets have black toilet
seats. Tar works nicely on these. At night, or at least at a time
when you suspect nobody would use the toilet for a few hours, pour a
large amount of jello powder into the bowl or the tank. Cement mix
also works nicely. Also, the ketchup packets you get at junk food
restaurants can be placed between the lid and the bowl. Make sure to
make a tiny hole in the packet first. Now when your mark sits down,
he will get a red surprise all over the backs of his knees.
While you are in the bathroom, and in the close reach of your
mark's shower: Take a pill capsule, preferably one made of gelatin.
Open it and fill with methylene blue, which comes in powder-form
used mainly for dye, and can be bought in drug stores or
aquarium-related stores (as it is used as a remedy for some fish
diseases.) It is non toxic but still very good at making stains.
Fill the capsule with the powder. Smear the capsule in with some
Vaseline. Insert it into showerhead. When the mark uses the shower,
the blue dye will leak out and stain him.
You can also put a bouillon cube or two into the showerhead. With
the hot water, the bouillon cube will melt and the mark will
probably not notice until it is too late. If you are out of
bouillon, use Kool-Aid, preferably the violet grape one, as it makes
really good stains.
Nair or any other hair removal is a nasty replacement for
shampoo. Applying Nair to a shampoo bottle might appear a bit
complex. The problem is that Nair has a distinct smell and if you
use too much of it, the mark will notice. One way of fighting this
is to pour some of the shampoo into a cup. Add a little Nair at a
time until you can smell it in the shampoo bottle, then add a little
bit of shampoo. The result may vary from your mark losing all his
hair to him losing just big chunks of his hair. If you suspect that
the mark will have the shampoo in the hair for just too short of a
time, then put Nair into the conditioner instead.
After
the bathroom, get into the kitchen and pick up some sugar. Use this
sugar afterwards in your mark's bedroom. Just spread it out on his
bed, under his bed sheets. A thin layer of plastic between the bed
sheets and the bed would cause the body to heat up the sugar which
you would put on the plastic. When your mark wakes up he'll look and
feel like a glazed donut. Replace the sugar with milk powder to get
unbelievable results. When the milk powder gets into the pores, it
stays there and turns sour. Your mark will smell of sour milk for
almost a week. Chocolate bars in the bed sheets can also be a pain,
even though it is more obvious and easier to detect before any
damage is done.
One scheme that works well in military quarters is to wait until
your mark is on leave. Then sneak into his room and sew alfalfa into
his bed. Add a little bit of water and in a week or so it will grow
up and make a nice bed when your mark returns.
The
kitchen is the last place on this tour. This is a place where you
could really go berserk, because there are so many small items
around in this room. Mix the different spices or just swap salt and
sugar. Do the same with corn, wheat, oatmeal, or whatever he's got.
Pour the milk out and replace it with water. Move round the
different kitchen appliances. Put a Snickers bar into his microwave
oven and let in run for a while. This will generate a foul stench,
and it looks nasty too.
Put grease on the top of the stove, if it is electric. There are
things you can do to a gas-stove that I should probably not mention
here. Let's just leave this to the movies and our fantasy, exploding
gas is no fun.
Grease and soya oil is a pain to wash away. Exploit this by
pouring it around randomly. Top it by spreading whatever
combinations of wheat, flour, oatmeal, corn, baking soda and spice
you can find, onto the floor.
``It is not justice we seek,
its revenge!''
-- Dilbert, in Bring me the head of Willie the mail
boy!
From
working at quite a few places I have found that one can always
divide the workforce into three groups. The friendly, the hostile
and the hostile who have some kind of leader position. The first
group would be your random work buddy which in most cases would be
almost all of the work force. You don't want to mess with your
buddies too much or they'll perceive you as being one of the idiots
in the hostile group. Still a few shenanigans among friends are
common and in most cases bonding. Just make sure you don't pick on
the same friendly target each time. I will only cover this briefly
here as this book is not about pranks.
The strange thing about the two other groups are that they often
seem to collaborate. The hostile in a leader position would actually
find it very handy to have some kind of informant in the group of
``common'' workers. Slander and mischief expressed in this group
would then get back to him and he would know exactly who to fire or
watch out for. The traitor would benefit from this by being the
first in line when the word promotion is mentioned.
One thing you should be aware of is that there are always a
leader who is above your leader, either a major CEO, a minister in
parliament or even the customers of the business.
An old trick that has provided pranksters hours of entertainment
is to wait for your mark to take a little coffee break. When your
mark is away, grab his telephone and tape down (using clear scotch
tape) the little button where the receiver sits. When your mark
returns, give him a little call and watch the confusion. A variation
of this one is to place small pieces of tape over the holes to the
speaker.
Create a stupid rule or regulation. If possible, make it seem
like a rule that would be under your mark's area of responsibility.
Print it on the company printer, and hang it up on a display board.
Write your mark's name at the bottom of the note and start
complaining (to everyone but him). One similar idea involves putting
up a police wanted poster with your mark's name and picture on it.
Sending messages from one employer to another is another
wonderful prank. This could also be considered severe, but if you
hide your tracks you need not worry.
You might want be careful with the hostile co-worker. This is
typically the mark who goes behind your back, making quite an effort
to bring you trouble. Whatever you do, go undetected and
untraceable, because if these individuals find out that you're
somehow on to them they'll increase their effort and make your
working day even more like a living hell.
Copy-machines can be useful tools for your revenge purpose, the
same goes for FAX machines. Invent something that looks conspicuous,
put the paper into the photocopier and leave it there. Others will
find it, wonder what is and have a look at it. Finally they find
your marks name on it and maybe confront him with it. Naturally
he'll deny it and make everything look even more conspicuous. Themes
that could be applied here are industrial espionage, or even a
scheme for a new system to monitor the work-force, supposed to be
hidden or at least not something that would be detected by your
co-workers.
Another popular scheme involves having a florist deliver flowers
to your mark. Take a look in the yellow pages and find a florist who
delivers singing telegrams or a theatrical delivery. The kicker here
is to have the flowers sent from someone of the opposite gender of
your mark's attraction. You can also play two marks up against each
other on this.
This scheme could be brought a bit further. Search your yellow
pages or ads in newspapers for adult or escort services. Call them
up and leave the phone number and mark's name in the voice-mail or
on their beepers. This works best if someone else is likely to
answer your mark's phone.
Grocery stores open up a whole new arena when it comes to revenge
tactics. Take something as innocent as a bottle of bleach. Unscrew
the cap and make small puncture in the bottom of the bottle, leave
it sitting in the top of a cart or something. Wait until the manager
or the co-worker mark comes wandering by looking at the bleach
dripping at his floor, grabs the bottle and turns it around, only to
get the rest of it over himself.
Go to the deli and order about 3 pounds of fish. Just say it's
for a customer. Now when nobody's looking stick it way up under a
cash register or far behind an aisle. In about 2 days the place will
smell like somebody died. If your store has radiators or heat
sources, take a carton of cream and open it up and put in the
radiator. It will smell like somebody shit and it will blow it all
over the store.
Get some maggots and drop them into their meat case just before
closing. Try to hide a rubber snake in the shrimp. When the clerk
grabs a handful of shrimp and pulls out the snake, it should
generate some sort of reaction. Find the control panels for the
freezers and coolers, randomly turn them up and down.
These grocery stores schemes are best implemented if you are
working at the place and know how the surveillance system works.
Remember most stores have a thorough working surveillance system, so
I don't recommend doing anything if you are just a customer and
don't know the system.
Any computers that aren't behind locked doors or secured with a
password are easy targets for the computer literate avenger. The
great thing about computers is that you can do anything from
prankish stuff like changing the colour configuration of your mark's
PC to really ruining months or even years of work by killing the
hard-disk.
At the work place, one nice scheme involves
installing graphic images in the background on your mark's
workstation. This is as easy as changing the colours. Either have the image ready in BMP format on a
diskette or download it anonymously from a location on the Internet.
One variation of this one involves manipulating images of a second
mark employee (by scanning the picture and merging it with another
picture from the said location on the Internet.) This could lead to
an interesting discussions between the two marks.
Altering the desktop configuration is also easy. I have already
mentioned changing colours, but you should not stop there. For
instance, remove all the icons from the desktop (and the menus) and
change the screen format to the lowest possible resolution with a
minimum of colours. This is truly annoying and at worst it will take
your mark an hour to fix everything.
As
the crime gets more severe, so should the punishment. Consider any
asshole who has been working on a project for months and has all his
work on his PC. Your mark could be anything from a corporate office
worker to a student. As long as he doesn't have a backup of his
work, he is going to get screwed.
There are certainly different ways to kill data, one being just
to erase them by typing erase/delete or using some kind of directory
browser. In UNIX-like operating systems one can erase whole
directories by using the ``rm -rf (dir)'' command. One problem that
you still will face is the fact that some operating systems don't
delete the whole file, but rather the internal entry saying where
the file is located and the name of it, or parts of that
information. This means that the data can still be restored with
special undelete programs.
To make it harder for your mark to restore data, you could make
yourself a boot-disk that contains the program fdisk and format. The
boot disk that Windows 98 supplies is sufficient for this purpose.
Use fdisk to delete and recreate the whole hard-disk, and then use
format to physically delete the data afterwards. You can also
low-level format the disk, if it is a SCSI disk.
Viruses are considered to be quite a menace and I wouldn't
advise using one even if you know what you are doing. There are many
virus-sites on the net, and some of them have live viruses. Download
at your own risk. There are also programs around that do not
replicate themselves and do less damage; these are mostly just
annoying and therefore suitable for the more mild revenge schemes.
Another
easy way to mess up a computer is to play around in the computer
BIOS. The BIOS menus are accessed at startup time, when the computer
runs checks on the RAM and the disks. Usually you get a message on
the screen saying that you can hit e.g. DEL for the BIOS setup menu.
Do this and start playing around. If the computer has an unset BIOS
password, set it and the mark will have to open the computer casing
and reset the BIOS completely.
Avengers who don't want to mess around with the software could
still do a lot of damage to the hardware. Open the computer, usually
by just using a screwdriver, and have a look at the inventory. You
will find that there are banks of RAM, cables, mainboard, drives and
one or more CPUs. If you take a look at the CPU you will find that
it usually has a heat-sink attached to it. Remove it, and the CPU
will get hot and eventually it will malfunction or it might even get
cooked with permanent damage. Removing one or more RAM banks could
be useful, but you should leave at least one or the computer will
not start, unless that was your idea in the first place.
More subtle avengers would simply put a screwdriver into the
fan, causing it to deform and make a lot of noise while in
operation. At worst it could malfunction causing heat to build up in
the computer. Removing the CPU fan is even better, but you would
have to open the casing to do this.
When
everything above seems like too much trouble, use a hammer randomly
inside the casing will definitely do permanent damage. If even that
is too much trouble, grab the whole PC, after disconnecting all the
cables, and drop it off in a nearby garbage container.
``Follow me if I advance, kill
me if I retreat, avenge me if I die.''
-- Mary Matalin
Institutions such as the government, the police, companies,
schools or the military are often acting in a way that makes them
justifiable marks. The arrogance occasionally displayed by
individuals in these institutions sometimes reflects only their
apparent status as being untouchable.
This is backed up with the enormous resources that the
institution has. It is becoming more and more rare these days that
the average man in the street wins court cases against either the
government or the police, even in cases where the guilt of the
institution is proven and documented beyond doubt.
I am going to use the governmental context for a wide variety of
services here, just as I am used to, living in Norway most of my
life.
The
police are sometimes targeted for unjustified revenge. This, because
the public often feel badly treated when they get tickets for
illegal parking, speeding or similar petty incidents. The fact is
that the police have an obligation to follow and can't be blamed for
following the rules (laws) set by politicians or lawmakers. If the
law is what you have a problem with, target the politician and make
your protests out loud.
I really do not recommend doing anything on location as far as
revenge against the police goes. History shows than the best way to
tangle your way out of these situations is to play along and either
accept or reject the fine, depending on the situation you are in.
Accepting it even if you did nothing wrong might seem idiotic, but
if the fine is low, you would have to ask yourself it is worth the
trouble of going through a trial or not. In any case if you broke
the law, you should accept the fine and forget about revenge. You
would naturally get the name of the officers and perform some long
distance revenge scheme, if you decided to act upon the wronged
action. It is a lot easier if your wrath is aimed directly towards
the police station itself.
It might happen that you get a parking ticket you don't deserve.
What one does in these situations is maybe manufacture your own
replica using a PC and a good printer. Spend a couple of evenings
wandering the streets and place the fake parking bills onto random
cars, which naturally are legally parked. You achieve two things by
doing this. One, you get quite a few people to complain about the
bill. Two, you get a few suckers who actually pay the bill. How the
police or the parking department handles this depends, but they do
not have anything outstanding on these people so they have to return
the money, costing work time and unnecessary administration.
Another way of causing harm to the ones handling parking is very
simple, just put a plastic bag over the parking meter. People will
probably still park there without paying. For private parking
companies this will work well, as it will lower their income.
For those cases when you have two marks, one being the
police/parking authorities and the other is a sucker with a parked
car: Call the towing company and have his car towed claiming that he
was parking in your slot.
Politicians often seem like distant revenge targets, but you
should remember that these too are people who has cars, gardens,
homes, phones, etc. Often there are a lot of people around them,
which complicates things but doesn't make a neat revenge scheme
impossible.
Scandals are one way of getting back at a politician, but as we
have often seen, the politicians often have ways of crawling
themselves out of any situation. And indeed, who is the public to
trust when they see one unknown girl claiming to have a relationship
with the leader of a nation, while the leader himself is saying it
never took place? Still, scandals could be effective, especially if
you know how to play the media.
Otherwise it is quite easy to hit the politician directly using
any of the other tactics described in this book. One rather mild one
is to forge letters from the politician to the media or a secondary
mark.
Hospitals may seem like apparently easy targets, but do keep in
mind that you might hurt or even kill innocent people who relies on
the services provided. Bringing down the particular person who has
wronged you, a Doctor for instance, is better. One way of doing that
is to spread news among the drug addicts in your community that this
doctor prescribes drugs, for a little extra fee, with no questions
asked. You would naturally be a part of that environment to make it
sound right, or in a smaller community you could get the right
effect by telling your friend about it. Rumors in small communities
are an incredible tool and will serve your efforts well, no matter
who your mark is.
You can get back at military airports by sending several letters
to the people residing in their vicinity. The letter should say that
due to expansion of the base, the military will be buying their
house. Give the residents a ridiculously low price for their
property. This scheme can also be applied to other airfields as
well. The point is to instigate a tiny little revolt against the
mark.
Aluminum balloons in great numbers would turn up on airport
radar, causing confusion and in some instances probably also make
them ground the airplanes for a while. You should be careful about
this as you might disrupt the air traffic enough to down a plane.
Another great tool for revenge business is the IRS (Tax
collectors.) You would need the mark's social security number and as
much information about your mark as possible. Contact your local IRS
field office. Using the mark's name and information, advise them
that you have been filing false returns for years, not declaring
money (from illegal gambling, drug dealing, etc. make it sound
believable) advise them that you have turned over a new leaf and
want to make amends. Set up an appointment with the IRS agent to set
things right. When the mark doesn't show up for his appointment, for
obvious reasons, the IRS will send a field agent to the mark's
address. Odds are, the mark will be audited no matter what.
Another, more direct method involves forging a tax form using the
name and information on your mark. In the US you can get the 1040-EZ
or 1040-A package. Type the name, address, city, state, zip, SS and
filing status normally. Prepare the rest of the return with anti-tax
and anti-government statements typed in strategic places on the
form. In other words use your own discretion. Prepare the official
return envelope in the same manner.
A different approach to this last one is to fill out a form with
information of a high income. Use the yellow pages and get some
addresses of companies who are rumored to do a lot of unreported
(tax-wise) work. This is a perfect scheme for the scumbag who
doesn't care about delivering any tax report form at all.
One great way to get back at a company, like a pub or a garage,
is to put an advertisement into the local newspaper where it says
that they're selling one of their products at a ridiculously low
price. For a garage you can write that they're offering free checks
on people's cars or $0.99 oil changes. Timing should be accurate. Do
this when everyone is looking to buy this service or product.
There
might be a situation where the mark is a bank that has wrongfully
taken money from your account. When that is the case, go to the bank
and rent a small safe deposit box. After you've gotten one, bring
with you a bag of fish substance that will reek after a couple of
days at room temperature. The bank will naturally have your name and
number, and they will beg you to remove it. Remind them of the cash
that was stolen and try to negotiate with them. Eventually, they can
open the box without your permission, but it takes a while, so don't
put anything illegal into it.
You could also give money in your mark's business name to every
charity, religious group and political action possible. You could
either give small amounts of money to groups that your mark is
heavily against, or to groups that you know will come back later and
harass him for more money.
Have a company which produces t-shirts at a low price make some
for you. Do a bogus logo and his office telephone number, then
donate the t-shirts to a local homeless shelter under his name. It
would look real funny when people all around start to wear his
t-shirts.
The next level of corporate revenge involves junk-food
restaurants and drive-through windows.
Wire up a speaker and hide it in the bushes. On the other side
you connect an amplifier and a microphone (use your imagination
here, anything from a walk-man to a portable computer might come in
handy). When someone pulls up to place their order, be as rude as
possible while impersonating the clerk. This will hurt the
restaurant and it might as well lead to a number of complaints from
unsuspecting customers. You could also write a letter to the
manager, saying that you were in the drive-through on that
particular night and were subjected to this verbal abuse. If this is
all too complicated hang a note saying ``out of order'' on the
set-box.
Flashing can be a crude but effective way of getting even with a
restaurant. If you are shy, you can have a friend drive by the
restaurant with his ass hanging out the window. I do think the
customers would loose their appetite after a slight glimpse of that.
Have you ever been ripped off by a laundry store or been in a
situation where you've been treated badly by the owner? Go to a
washer and fill it up with loads of detergent, soap, grease or
paint. You could also poke holes in the rubber pipes that lead to
the washers. Another suggestion is to jam the coin insert part of
the machine with dented coins or foreign objects. Add some
super-glue and it will take a very long time to fix and result in a
lot of lost business and frustrations.
Doctors and dentists always seem to get away with everything,
don't they? Well, not anymore. Go to a label printer and have them
print a bunch of labels with your Doc's office name and address.
Next thing you do is visiting one of those places where you get
pornographic magazines. After you've read them, I mean, after you've
purchased them, put the label on them and drop them off in the
waiting room under the pile of magazines that's already there. Don't
wait around unless you have an appointment there.
Another thing you can do for doctors is to advertise. Affix
street posters with the doctors' name on them in the worst parts of
your vicinity. Here you will be helping this doctor selling drug
prescriptions with no questions asked.
You could also try to get a job at your mark's company. When
inside you have a wide range of tactics you can implement and you
will be close to anything. Being nasty to customers is a good one,
but you could also give them good discounts or do other sabotage.
Just don't get caught.
As with the police, teachers are also often targets of wrongful
revenge and shenaniganism. It doesn't necessarily mean that these
teachers are bad teachers, more often it is because the children act
like uncivilized savages and feel badly treated when they don't do
their homework. Harassing teachers is not something I condone,
actually I don't condone anything in this book, except the copyright
notice.
Analyzing
the teacher could be useful. A fairly old teacher might get an
embarrassing problem if you brought your pornographic comics to
school. Creative minds could certainly make their own version of,
``Peter Penis, Master Detective and the Case of the Missing Coke
Bottles.'' You could also hide things like a condom or a dildo
in his drawer.
The idea of putting display board tacks on the teacher's chair is
old and quite outdated.
Another way of making the workday of a teacher miserable, is by
rubbing lipstick, tar or paint on the doors to the school's
administrative offices and the teacher's rest room. Done cleverly it
might not be noticed until every teacher is dirty.
In the one-mean-pupil section we have copying off your teachers
signature on the bottom of a resignation. Leave it in the
principal's office. Make something up about him getting a new job,
and he can't come personally to discuss it. Time this to a period
when the mark is away from work for some days. This can also work in
the opposite direction where you pose as the principal firing the
teacher.
Another mark that might deserve your attention, in the school
area, is your fellow student or pupil. Most of what is written under
the corporate revenge also applies here. In addition, due to the way
school works, there are a few good ones.
Ex-Lax or anything that make your mark's stomach twitch, could
easily be applied to his drink. Again timing is essential, as the
mark will be more vulnerable at the day of his final examination,
although ruining for life might be excessive, ruining him for the
semester might be a better choice.
Quite a few places you can cancel exams without identifying
yourself. At the places where they do require an ID, try to get a
fake one or steal your mark's ID.
The mark's locker is an easy target. Put some glue on a toothpick
and insert it into the lock. Hang pornographic images on the front
side of the locker. Pour fox urine or some other stinky substance on
its top or through its holes. If you are good at picking locks, then
plant something in the locker and then use the glue and toothpick
trick on the lock. Write something creative on the locker door. When
the mark goes away for a week or two, pour milk on top of it, or use
a generous amount of cottage cheese squeezed between two plates.
Tape the plate together and hide it on top of his locker or push it
into the locker. It will have a nasty odor when he discovers it.
An easy way to get back at school buddies who use drugs
frequently is to get a drug testing kit from a drug store. Send the
whole kit to his parents along with a letter from either the school
or one of his friends who feels that their son or daughter has a
problem.
In the school-building vandalism section we have ideas like
drawing obscenities on pull-down maps or movie screens, or hiding
foul smelling things above the ceiling. The latter can be done in
some governmental buildings where they have ceilings resting on an
iron grid, if not, use the air-duct.
Maggots (fly larva) can be bought at several sports stores in
areas where they use these as fish bait. Get a box of them and hide
it in a classroom, just before the school closes for the summer.
Open the lid slightly to let the flies out and when the pupils
return next semester it will be swarming with flies in the room.
Clog the drains by pouring cement into the toilets and the sinks.
Also always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle everything you
can. Have friends help you. Make a competition where the object is
to get most screws out.
With access to a PC you can make false announcements from your
school. Use the same format style as they use and distribute them to
teacher's mailboxes and put them on display boards.
The display boards can also be used against your fellow students.
Get a picture of your mark and write something nasty under it.
Sex-adds, I-am-stupid posters, or anything from your own creative
mind.
On your country's national day, take down the national flag and
put up your own. Have a friend lift you up standing on his back. Tie
the rope and cut everything that is below, leaving quite a distance
down to the ground.
``The righteous shall rejoice
when he seethe the vengeance; he shall wash his feet in the blood
of the wicked.''
-- Psalms, Ch. 58, V.10
Sticky stuff
Two of the more flexible items used in revenge
schemes are superglue and the insulation used as filler in building
walls.
Superglue is
perhaps the most versatile ``sticky stuff.'' Just apply it into any
key-lock to give your mark the agony of his life. Car door locks,
car fuel locks, school lockers, apartment and house front door
locks, mailbox locks or even garage door locks, the variations are
endless.
Gluing ornaments like plastic toys to the car hood was already
mentioned. This can also be applied to other things, like windows,
doors, office desks where pens glued to the desk works great. Your
imagination is the limit.
Housing
insulation also has many applications. These usually come in large
spray containers and when applied appear as an expanding foam. The
real kicker here is that it soon hardens. One problem here is that
when applied to a limited area, the foam will put pressure on its
walls, this could also be part of the revenge. Places to apply this
are mailboxes, through open windows, into cars, through mail-slots,
desk drawers, lockers and onto lawns or up the exhaust pipe of his
car.
Annoying schemes shouldn't be too severe because
they usually would have to be repeated frequently and therefore the
risk of detection is high. You also shouldn't apply annoying schemes
upon a mark who is patient as a rock. In such situations the energy
you spend on the work would easily be higher than the energy and
irritation felt by your mark.
Roommates are close and often easy targets for annoyances. I
have observed that acting nervous or jumpy often makes other people
nervous. Nervousness is often quite closely connected to annoyances.
You could start the afternoon by sitting straight looking at the
wall (make sure there is a clock within your view) - every five
minutes get up, walk to the window, look out and mumble. This would
surely be annoying for the duration. The next day, mention that you
wonder what you did around that time the previous day. If others
ask, tell them that your roommate has been acting strange lately.
If your roommate has a girlfriend then you should be really nice
to her. Give her a little gift every now and then, smile at her
often and look at her tits when he can see it. Comment on her ass to
her boyfriend and ask if they're into threesomes. Leave pornographic
magazines around your bed. Also talk about yourself and her when he
thinks you're sleeping and he is awake.
Have your alarm clock ring at 5AM each morning. First you let it
ring for a little while, and when your roommate complains, get up
and go to the bathroom. Take a pee, or whatever, just make a bit of
noise, then return to your bed. Do this every morning for a while.
The next tactic involves getting some old keys. This can be done
at a locksmith, just ask for some they don't have any use for. Buy
the same number of key tags, or make some yourself. Write your
mark's name and telephone number on the tag and mention a $10 reward
if found. After you've done this, drop them one by one around the
city. The drawback with this one is that you'll involve innocent
third persons. A related trick would be to write your mark's name
and phone number on dollar notes.
The best place to embarrass someone is to make it as public as
possible. These tactics could look pretty innocent, but they will
mostly feel like they were a hit below the belt for your casual shy
mark. The first one works best if your mark is a shy homophobe,
working in a store. Get a friend, someone your mark doesn't know, to
come into the store and buy a packet of condoms. Make him go to the
mark's line and say loudly, ``I had a great time last night, (his
name) honey. Are these the kind you wanted me to pick up for
later?'' This scheme can naturally be adapted to other scenarios,
and in several versions.
When your mark is a younger brother it's even easier to embarrass
him. Just ruin his reputation by running around at the school
cafeteria asking for him saying that he forgot to bring his lunch
with him. Dress geeky, smell and make sure you have a large grocery
bag with his full name written on its side.
A different way to embarrass your mark is if you're in gym class
doing push ups. Have one of your trusted friends convince your mark
to ask you about how many push-ups your brother or sister can do.
When the mark ask, look as angry and upset as you can. Make a big
scene out of it and give the mark your response, ``Who told you
about this? How could you! You know my sister has no arms! What kind
of person are you?!'' At this point you can either storm out of the
room or put your head down in your arms crying.
Using posters has always been one of my favorite ways of getting
even. With the latest in technology (i.e. the campus PC's or your
own) you can scan a picture of your mark. The next thing you would
need to do is go on the Net and find some pornographic images. You
might have to search a little bit to find one that would fit nicely
with your mark's head, but it's well worth it. Cut and paste from
the original picture, and smooth it together so that it looks real
authentic. Print it out and hang it on the campus display board with
the text, ``horny chick call XXX-XXXX.''
I am not going to lecture anyone on how to make hard explosives.
One reason is that there is enough information on this around the
Internet already. Another is that explosives are often unstable, and
definitely unreliable, which makes them unsuitable for revenge.
There are still things you may ``blow up'' without hurting
anyone. Take a balloon, fill it with paint and throw it onto your
mark's car at a time when chances of detection are lowest. The trick
here is to find a balloon that will hold the right amount of paint,
and which will break when it hits the car or house if you want to
strike at that.
Dry ice (frozen CO2) is
cool and can be used to make loud explosions. The way this is done,
basically, is that you put a generous amount of dry ice into a
bottle, lock the bottle and then hide it in the vicinity of your
mark. Plastic bottles are recommended as glass will break and may
seriously hurt someone.
Firecrackers are also nice tools that can be used for revenge
purposes. Send a threatening note to your mark saying, ``tonight at
01:30AM, you die.'' Then at night light the biggest firecracker you
can find, just outside his house. This is psychological warfare. The
next note could say, ``Sorry, I missed.''
You
really don't have to blow anything up to stir trouble. One phone
threat is enough, ``There is a bomb in your building. You have 42
minutes to evacuate.'' This is a thing you may not want to consider,
since this really is severe and the police will definitely try to
get you.
Wreaking weddings
A wedding ceremony is both expensive and
painstaking, the latter due to the somewhat difficult task of making
everything look perfect. Now, of course when our mark is heading to
the altar we'll be using this moment of vulnerability to get some
serious revenge.
Let's say this groom was an ex-lover of yours who ran away
about 4-9 months prior to the wedding. After he ran away he abruptly
fell in love with this little girl, who he proposed to and now is
going to marry (yeah, right! he was cheating on you the whole time,
this is a well known scenario.) You feel that something has to be
done, and to ruin our mark's one-day-in-life you will need some
pillows (or whatever) tucked under your sweater. After the ceremony
you show up at the reception telling everybody about the forthcoming
child of the groom. This would certainly need some good acting,
timing and realism. If you can leave the place without being exposed
as a fraud (shouldn't be too hard), then I am sure the groom and
bride's wedding night isn't going to be very jolly.
Another
dirty trick is to get into the church, watch the ceremony, waiting
until the minister come to the part about ``if there is anyone in
this room who has anything to say about this marriage taking
place.'' Okay, this stunt would also need quite a bit at guts, but
for some, if that groom or the bride is an ex-lover you feel left
some debt in the revenge department, then maybe getting up at this
point, cussing out both the participants, wouldn't be too far
fetched? The genius touch here is that nobody will shut you off. At
the reception or at anytime later there will be people who might
yell back at you, but here in the church they won't. A nice touch to
this would maybe be to claim that you are already married to the
groom/bride, and with luck you might prevent the couple from getting
married that day. This might also lead to a nice night in jail for
you, but that's a different story.
A well
known urban story tells about a wedding where the groom (or bride)
goes through the whole ceremony until the part where the commitment
is about to take place. The groom then stops everyone and asks them
to take a look at the picture under their chair (church bench). The
picture supposedly shows the bride in action with the best man the
previous night. The groom then leaves the ceremony with another
woman.
``To win a hundred victories in
a hundred battles is not the highest excellence; the highest
excellence is to subdue the enemy's army without fighting at
all.''
-- Sun-Tzu
I've tried to focus on two things in particular in this book. The
implementation of various revenge schemes, and an elaboration on the
worst pitfalls and how to secure your path around them on you
mission of vengeance.
It has not been my goal to write down every revenge scheme I
could come up with, but rather describe a few of the more successful
ones. I hope that you, the reader, can use these as a source of
inspiration in your quest, and that you can build on these rather
than just copying them. The best revenge schemes are the ones which
fit the crime, the mark and his environment and you can't find that
scheme in a book.
Another thing that you should be aware of is that the effort
spent, doesn't always yield equal or justified agony for your mark.
Imagine a person striving for hours plotting something that merely
causes this mark a few moments of discomfort, a situation that
surely causes the avenger more agony than the mark. Revenge can also
become an obsession, often seen in movies and books where the
avenger, playing the bad guy, becomes obsessed with revenge and
ruins both his own life and the life of the mark. The line between
revenge-obsession and the psychotic is very indistinct.
Often people will find peace in their mind by imagining doing
something to cause their mark agony. Usually this seems to be
enough, and it is definitely therapeutical. The focus of a
commitment should be to get a solution to a problem or an
improvement of your situation, rather that just hurting your mark.
Thinking revenge often solves the pain you may experience inside,
without causing yourself or the mark any harm.
I hope this has been pleasant and entertaining reading.
Pål D. Ekran
Tromsø, Norway, 11 October 1999
``When we are struck at without
a reason, we should strike back again very hard; I am sure we
should -- so hard as to teach the person who struck us never to do
it again.''
-- Jane Eyre, by Charlotte Bronte
This book was put together and authored by me, but there were
many people who helped me develop it.
The alt.revenge society -- even if it is
constantly changing, this book would not have been written if it
weren't for the enormous display of creativity shown in this
newsgroups' early days.
The University of Tromsø -- not just for trying to give
me an education, but also for giving me access to the Internet,
hosting the Avenger's FrontPage during its development
and for being my current employer.
The quality assurance team -- without the people who've
read through this book correcting all my strange Norwegian jargon,
you would probably not enjoy reading this book at all. These skilled
individuals are:
Chip Mattox, Cuda (Who assisted me on the legal aspects), Ian
Atkin, Michael J. Bennett, Napier, Per Harald Myrvang (A good
friend, who also did some heavy work on the layout), Rinko R.
Parrot (Shadow), Robert Berry, Shannon Buffett (Canada rulez),
Sluggo, Starshipper, Stian Morken (May the force be with you) and
Yankee7.
The tactics in this book were not invented by me alone, but by
hundreds of people who've contributed to the Avenger's
Handbook by either posting their ideas to
alt.revenge or sending them directly to me by email.
Without all of you, this book could not have been written.
My sincere thanks goes to:
A.J.R., Aaron Cake, Alabama Boo, Alan Young, Albers,
Alison Cole, Alistair MacGuines, Allowed, Andrew Barg, Andrew
McCann, Arne Sandness, Art, Batman, BadPunkGrl, Belina Jones, Ben
A. Ostrowsky, Billie Purcell, Billy Soh, Bjørn Stenbakken, Bobbo,
Brent Volden, Brian Martinez, Brian Smith-White, BrianN3UKG, C. H.
Lund, C. Lynn Ashworth, Cake, Cathleen, Gallagher, Charles Trent,
Chris Burroughs, Chris Hedemark, Chris Wilson, Christopher G.
Wakefield, Chuck, Crystal V. Freitas, Crystal Willett,
CyberKnight, DCrowder, Dale Gee, Dale Nurden, Dale Worley, Dan
Sutton, DanD, Darren, Dave Bushong, David C. Hobbs, David Gillies,
David K. Bryant, David Morning, David T. Witkowski, Davis Sweeney,
Deacon, Denise L Voskuil, Der Jeff, DiaBLo, Diana Balance,
Digitar, Dillotex, Donald E Quigley, Doug Clayton, Drew Patterson,
Dylan Hayes. Eamon, Ed Butler, Elaine Ford, Elsinepres, Emil
Rakoczy, Emily Nevermind, Evil, Flightline, Florin Cutzu, Format
c:, Frank Reid, Genghis Floyd, George ``Pinhead'' Curtis, Ginnow,
Gordon Prioreschi, Gregory Winer, HaPpYKiLL, Harry Conwi,
Hellraiser, Hiram, HoneyB16, Humdinger7, Iollus, Israel Silverman,
J. Kennedy, JRWinston, James Martin, James Miles, Jay C. Box,
JenSue, Jennifer, Jeremy Harrington, Jeremy Winter, Jim Michael,
Joan Tine, Joe, Joe Parsons, Jody Hattersley, John Armstrong, John
Gentilozzi, John Hein, John Hong, John L. Kinsella, John Smith,
Joker, Josh Jenkins, June Peckingham, JusticeX, KCWinstead, Karl
Anders Øygard, Kellie, Kelton E. Ryan, Kennan Ferguson, Kenneth
Mayer, Kfe, Kirby, L. A. Spangler, Lady Gemini, Lance Stahlberg,
Lapierre, Larry Collins, Lee Lorenz, Lester R. Wolthers Jr, Loop,
Lori Oswald, Lyvo, MAD Mosher, MIT, Marian333, Mark Landers, Mark
Loop, Mark Peters, Mark W. Russell, Marko Heiskanen, Martin
Hannigan, Matthew ``The Revenger'', Michael Biddle, Michael Lamb,
Michael P. Johnson, Michael Thomas, Mike Smith, Morpheus, Mr.
Twister, Muzz, Nancy Passwater, Neil P. Montoya, NetMonk, Obitus,
OJ, Oleg, Pancho, Panhead, Patrick I Buchert, Patrick Jost,
Patrick Lynch, Patrick McAllen, Phinn, Prime Risk, Qbranch2,
ROCO1, Rev. Etherboy, Richard Payne, Richard R. Moore, Richard
Snow, Rob Peacock, Rob Verzera, Robert Bissett, Robert Goodwin,
Robin Scott, Roger Orton, Roger Sween, Roy Stewart, Rugger, Samuel
Kaplin, Samuel Taradash, Scott, Scott Adams, Scott Little, Shane,
Shivers, Simon Wright, Skater4387, Skitzo, Sky Rat, Stephen
Boursy, Steve Davis, Steve Lopez, Steve McQueen, Steven C.
Schultz, Steven Minney, Stryk9, Stuart, Stuart Ransley, Tapas
Pain, The Cheshire Cat, The Green Jesus, The Grin Within, The
Novato Onramp, The Weekday Warrior, Thomas Gauldin, Tim J. Lavoie,
Tmel, Toby Lane, Tom Line, Troy Harnish, Turk, Warren Savage,
Werther, Wil Jamison, William Barker, Wooly, XMan, Yankee7, tk421,
and whf2.
``If you prick us, do we not
bleed?
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
If you poison
us, do we not die?
And if you wrong us, shall we not
revenge?''
-- William Shakespeare, The Merchant of Venice
- Avenger's FrontPage
- Introduction
| Introduction
- alt.flame
- Introduction
- alt.revenge
- Introduction
- FAQ
- Introduction
- James Stark
- Introduction
- alt.shenanigans
- Introduction
- annoying
- The
annoying and irritating
- alarm clock
- Annoying
roommates
- keys
- Annoying
roommates
- roommates
- The
annoying and irritating
- Avenger's Handbook
- Introduction
| Introduction
- bank
-
- bag of fish
- The
company
- mail
- Forged
letters
- the company
- The
company
- bedroom
- The
bedroom
- alfalfa
- The
bedroom
- chocolate bars
- The
bedroom
- milk powder
- The
bedroom
- cable TV
- Telly
terrorism
- black tape
- Telly
terrorism
- boxes
- Telly
terrorism
- metal piece
- Telly
terrorism
- car
-
- alarm
- Other
car action
- Alka-Seltzers
- Under
the hood
- balancing weights
- Tire
havoc
- Bologna
- Paint
jobs
- bumper stickers
- Other
car action
- butane
- Under
the hood
- concrete sealant
- At
the windshield
- Drano
- The
gas tank
- engine
- Under
the hood
- exhaust pipe
- Insulation
- fuel tank
- The
gas tank
- heater
- At
the windshield
- lawn sprinkler
- Other
car action
- lug-nuts
- Tire
havoc
- oil
- Under
the hood
- plastic lizards
- Paint
jobs
- police
- Other
car action
- shaving foam
- Under
the hood
- shrimp-shells
- At
the windshield
- sparkplug holes
- Under
the hood
- spray-paint
- Paint
jobs
- sugar
- The
gas tank
- superglue
- Paint
jobs
- tires
- Tire
havoc
- windshield
- At
the windshield
- windshield wipers
- At
the windshield
- your own
- A
few tings to
- clothes
-
- black
- A
few tings to
- camouflage
- A
few tings to
- casual
- A
few tings to
- surroundings, standing out
- A
few tings to
- college dorms
- Dorms
and similar places
- brick wall
- Dorms
and similar places
- pennying a door
- Dorms
and similar places
- plastic cups
- Dorms
and similar places
- signs
- Dorms
and similar places
- copyright
- Copyright
and information
- detection
-
- Internet
- Danger
of detection
- log-file
- Danger
of detection
- technology
- Danger
of detection
- disclaimer
- Disclaimer
- distribution
- Distribution
terms
- DNA analysis
- A
few tings to
- door
-
- eggs
- Doors
in general
- garden hose
- Doors
in general
- embarrassment
- Embarrassment
- gym class
- Embarrassment
- posters
- Embarrassment
- encryption
- Safety
and planning
- evidence
- Safety
and planning
- exploding
-
- bomb threats
- Fun
with firecrackers
- carbondioxide
- Things
that go boom!
- firecrackers
- Fun
with frozen carbondioxide
- explosives
- Things
that go boom!
- FAX
-
- black pages
- Black
magic
- caution
- Fax
machines
- error messages
- Infinite
faxes
- exploiting sorting
- Big
companies
- fax-back
- Wakeup
calls
- looping
- Infinite
faxes
- ruining
- Black
magic
- fountain
- Walls,
fountains and bugs
- friend
-
- trusted
- A
few tings to
- garage
-
- nails
- The
garage
- painting
- The
garage
- garden
-
- copper tacks
- Trees
- diesel fuel
- The
lawn
- fertilizer
- The
lawn
- forks
- The
lawn
- frosted flake
- The
lawn
- lime
- The
lawn
- nails
- Trees
- salt
- The
lawn
- seagulls
- The
lawn
- tree
- Trees
- weed seeds
- The
lawn
- gathering information
- Safety
and planning
- graffiti
-
- Ajax
- Walls,
fountains and bugs
- Comet
- Walls,
fountains and bugs
- lighter fluid
- Walls,
fountains and bugs
- profanities
- Walls,
fountains and bugs
- hospital
-
- mail
- Forged
letters
- hospitals
- Hospitals
- drug addicts
- Hospitals
- insulation
- Sticky
stuff
- Internet
-
- altering email address
- How
do they do
- auto-responder
- How
do they do
- café
- Basics
- cancelling
- Internet
revenge ideas
- civil-right groups
- Reporting
the abuse
- complaint
- Spammers
- contact ads
- Internet
revenge ideas
- email
- How
do they do
- fraud watch
- Reporting
to the authorities
- FTP
- Basics
- harassment
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- identity, concealing
- Internet
revenge ideas
- ISP
- Internet
revenge ideas
- killfile
- How
do they do
- logging
- The
Internet
- mail
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- message header
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- newbie
- The
Internet | Dealing
with Internet harassment
- offender
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- oldtimers
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- pace problem
- Basics
- product
- Spammers
- public terminal
- Basics
- public terminal, limitations
- Basics
- pyramid scheme
- Spammers
- secure access
- Basics
- selling stuff
- Internet
revenge ideas
- spammers
- Spammers
- spammers, 800-numbers
- Spammers
- spammers, avoiding
- How
do they do
- spammers, calling
- Spammers
- spammers, mail-bombing
- Spammers
- spammers, reporting
- Reporting
to the authorities
- student
- Reporting
the abuse
- subscription
- Internet
revenge ideas
- system administrator
- Dealing
with Internet harassment
- Telnet
- Basics
- tools
- Basics
- Usenet
- Internet
revenge ideas | Dealing
with Internet harassment
- IRS
- Tax
collectors are your
- forging a tax form
- Tax
collectors are your
- mail
- Forged
letters
- James Stark
-
- alt.revenge
- Introduction
- junkmail
- Junk
mail
- bugs
- Junk
mail
- cockroaches
- Junk
mail
- cross-posting
- Junk
mail
- getting rid of
- Handling
junk mail
- glue
- Junk
mail
- leaf-pile
- Protecting
your garden
- mail
-
- address change
- Forged
letters
- application
-
- credit card
- Forged
letters
- job
- Forged
letters
- ashes, cigarette
- Annoying
non-smokers.
- bank
- Forged
letters
- bugs
- Junk
mail
- church
- Forged
letters
- cockroaches
- Junk
mail
- dirty magazine
- Forged
letters
- envelopes, empty
- The
power of empty
- envelopes, opened
- The
power of empty
- forwarding
- Forged
letters
- from secondary mark
- Forged
letters
- hospital
- Forged
letters
- illegal
- Mail
revenge warning
- illegal forging
- Forged
letters
- importing narcotics
- Forged
letters
- job application
- Forged
letters
- landlord
- Forged
letters
- legality of
- Mail
revenge warning
- letter, newspaper
- Forged
letters
- memberships
- Forged
letters
- moving out
- Forged
letters
- order forms
- The
mail system
- ordering goods
- The
mail system
- paper, single
- The
power of empty
- pedophilia
- Forged
letters
- Reader's Digest
- Forged
letters
- remailer
- A
few tings to
- reply-envelope
- Junk
mail
- requirements
- The
mail system
- sexual partner
- Forged
letters
- tax collector
- Forged
letters
- teacher
- Forged
letters
- trusted friend
- A
few tings to
- TV station
- Forged
letters
- unpaid
- Unpaid
post
- mailbox
-
- federal offences
- The
mailbox
- flag
- The
mailbox
- insects
- The
mailbox
- lock
- The
mailbox
- protection
- Protecting
your garden
- mark
-
- bank loan
- Forged
letters
- calling directly
- Telephone
precautions
- contact ads
- Internet
revenge ideas
- dating
- A
date?
- driving to
- A
few tings to
- drug abuser
- Forged
letters
- ex-
- Forged
letters
- legal problems
- Forged
letters
- membership
- Forged
letters
- paging
- Pagers
- phone-bill
- Collect
calls
- salesman, telephone
- Phone
terrorism
- social security number
- Forged
letters
- spamming
- Internet
revenge ideas
- subscriptions
- Internet
revenge ideas
- telephone order
- Basics
- using identity of
- Internet
revenge ideas
- MIT
- The
residence
- music
-
- acoustic coupler
- Loud
music
- apartment neighbor
- Loud
music
- bowling ball
- Loud
music
- loud music at night
- Loud
music
- weightlifting plate
- Loud
music
- police
- The
police
- parking ticket
- Got
a parking ticket?
-
- plastic bag
- Got
a parking ticket?
- towing company
- Got
a parking ticket?
- politicians
- Politicians
- scandals
- Politicians
- prank-war
- Safety
and planning
- psychotic
- Epilogue
- quality assurance team
- Acknowledgements
- quotation
-
- Bronte, Charlotte
- Acknowledgements
- Deuteronomy
- Long
distance revenge
- Dilbert
- The
work place
- Eyre, Jane
- Acknowledgements
- Hayduke, George
- Introduction
- Kahn, Genghis
- Matalin, Mary
- The
institutional
- Nitobe, Inazo
- Safety
and planning
- Psalms
- Miscellaneous
- Shakespeare, William
- Acknowledgements
- Sun-Tzu
- Epilogue
- revenge
-
- dish best served cold
- Safety
and planning
- lifecycle
- Safety
and planning
- revenge-obsession
- Epilogue
- school
-
- cancel exams
- Fellow
students
- drug testing kit
- Fellow
students
- Ex-Lax
- Fellow
students
- fly larva
- The
school building
- locker
- Fellow
students
-
- cottage cheese
- Fellow
students
- pornographic images
- Fellow
students
- national flag
- The
school building
- pornographic comics
- Teachers
- teacher
- Teachers
-
- resignation
- Teachers
- toilets
- The
school building
- secondary mark
-
- landlord
- Forged
letters
- paging
- Pagers
- teacher
- Forged
letters
- travel agency
- Basics
- sexual partner
- Forged
letters
- shower
- The
bathroom
- bouillon cube
- The
bathroom
- methylene blue
- The
bathroom
- Nair
- The
bathroom
- Sicilians
- Safety
and planning
- superglue
- Sticky
stuff
- talk.bizzarre
- Introduction
- teacher
-
- mail
- Forged
letters
- telemarketing
- Handling
telemarketing and pranksters
- being gross
- Being
gross
- calling back
- Asking
questions | Calling
back
- conversation stopper
- A
quickie
- death
- Being
rude
- indecent proposals
- Being
rude
- music, boring
- Boring
music
- obscure credit cards
- Obscure
payment
- questions, dumb
- Asking
questions
- restroom, using
- Being
gross
- S&M
- Shocking
the telemarketer
- toilet
- Being
gross
- telephone
-
- as safe channel
- Telephone
precautions
- caller-id
- A
few tings to | Telephone
precautions | Precautions
ad teidium | Handling
pranksters
- cancelling
-
- credit card
- Stopping
supplies
- phone
- Stopping
supplies
- changing voice
- Telephone
precautions
- dating
- A
date?
- electricity supply
- Stopping
supplies
- gas supply
- Stopping
supplies
- gay lover
- Variations
- girlfriend
- Implied
adultery
- gloves
- Precautions
ad teidium
- harassment
- Phone
terrorism
- innocent third party
- Basics
- ISP
- Stopping
supplies
- logging
- A
few tings to
- long distance call
- Collect
calls
- ordering
- Basics
- pay phone
- Telephone
precautions | Precautions
ad teidium
- phone-bill
- Collect
calls
- phone-booth
- A
few tings to
- random call
- Phone
terrorism
- safety
- The
telephone
- sale call
- Phone
terrorism
- secondary mark
- Telephone
precautions | Precautions
ad teidium
- spouse
- Implied
adultery
- telemarketing
- Handling
telemarketing and pranksters
- third party, using
- Telephone
precautions
- tracing
- Wakeup
calls
- tracking
- A
few tings to
- voice manipulation
- Telephone
precautions
- wakeup call
- Wakeup
calls
- wife
- Implied
adultery
- telephone-pranksters
-
- bluffing
- Handling
pranksters
- caller-id
- Handling
pranksters
- handling harassment
- Equal
treatment
- loud noise
- Handling
pranksters
- music, boring
- Boring
music
- sarcasm
- Equal
treatment
- the company
- Tax
collectors are your
- bank
- The
company
-
- bag of fish
- The
bank
- bogus logo
- The
good cause
- charity
- The
good cause
- doctors
- Doctors
and dentists
- laundry store
- Laundries
- restaurants
- Restaurants
- the kitchen
- The
kitchen
- exploding gas
- The
kitchen
- therapeutical
- Epilogue
- toilet
-
- Cement mix
- The
bathroom
- jello powder
- The
bathroom
- ketchup
- The
bathroom
- saran wrap
- The
bathroom
- weddings
- Wreaking
weddings
- photographs
- Speaking
up
- showing up pregnant
- Wreaking
weddings
- speaking up
- Showing
up pregnant
- work
-
- escort services
- At
the office
- FAX machines
- At
the office
- flowers
- At
the office
- friendly
-
- display board
- The
friendly
- regulation
- The
friendly
- tape
- The
friendly
- friends
- Introduction
- grocery
-
- bleach
- Grocery
stores
- fish
- Grocery
stores
- maggots
- Grocery
stores
- rubber snake
- Grocery
stores
- surveillance system
- Grocery
stores
- pc
-
- BIOS
- The
BIOS
- colours
- Messing
with software
- fan
- The
subtle avenger
- graphic images
- Messing
with software
- hammer
- The
berserker
- icons
- Messing
with software
- screwdriver
- Messing
with hardware